


Five Stages

by MaryBeth



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:28:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 31,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27390460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaryBeth/pseuds/MaryBeth
Summary: NOW COMPLETE! This one takes place during Season 3 episode 8 – between the mall parking lot scene and “3 months later”.  The title refers to the five stages of grief, which everyone goes through in different ways and at different speeds.  This is my first attempt at a multi – chapter story. Each one will be titled for one of the five stages, but different characters will be at different stages throughout. This is a sequel to all my other stories, so you may want to read those first. As always, feedback is welcome. Hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper & Jim "Chief" Hopper, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler, Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler, Joyce Byers/Jim "Chief" Hopper, Maxine "Max" Mayfield/Lucas Sinclair
Comments: 28
Kudos: 61





	1. Denial

Stage 1 – Denial

_Denial is a common defense mechanism that helps numb you to the intensity of the situation by pretending the loss or change isn’t happening. This gives you time to more gradually absorb the news and begin to process it._

** Prologue – Day 41**

El had been putting it off for weeks but she was, thankfully, alone this morning. Not that she hadn’t appreciated the round-the-clock attention at first – when she had not wanted to be alone. Couldn’t stand it, in fact. But even with Joyce or Will or Mike hovering, she had always felt alone. Alone and incomplete without Hopper ruffling her hair, telling her she needed to eat something besides an eggo, and calling her “kid”. Her world was not the same without his huge presence that filled up the room and made her feel safe and loved. Loved like a papa should. She missed him so much. She hoped it would be easier by now but it most definitely was not. _She didn’t think it ever would be._

Anyway, the almost constant hovering had stopped a few weeks ago. She was grateful because it was starting to feel like being back at the lab. Everyone always watching. Waiting to see what she would do. Treating her like glass, afraid she would shatter.

_But she already had._

She knew it was crazy, knew he was gone, but she still wished she was able to go into the void to look, just to be sure. But she couldn’t even do that. She was useless. Losing Hopper _and_ her powers was overwhelming for her some days. Many days. _Most days._

But not today.

Today she had the perfect opportunity. She knew she could never really accept that Hopper was gone unless she went back to the cabin to - she wasn’t sure – say goodbye, have a good cry, see it one more time. Mike and Nancy had been a few times to pack up her belongings but up until now she did not want to go. Simply couldn’t go.

_But she needed to retrieve the things Hopper had hidden for her._

So she needed to go alone, back to the home she had shared with the first adult who ever treated her with kindness and compassion. The place where she had truly discovered what it meant to have a father. _A place she hadn’t been since that monster punched holes through the roof and walls, and almost ripped her leg off._

She wasn’t sure she could bear the sight of it, broken and empty – abandoned - but she had to go. The strange dream she had about her dad last night made her feel like he was telling her to go.

She couldn’t wait anymore. It had to be today.

**Day 1**

She shook her head. “No.”

El knew the second she spotted Joyce without Hopper by her side that something was wrong. _Very wrong._ Hopper would never let Joyce out of his sight during a life threatening situation. He loved her too much, even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud. If he wasn’t here protecting Joyce, or looking for her - his daughter - to make sure she was ok, taking charge, being a surrogate dad to all the other traumatized kids like he always did, then it was because – it could only be because… because… The devastated look on Joyce’s face confirmed her worst fear.

“Nooooo!”

Everyone who had been sitting in assorted emergency vehicles heard El’s agonized howl. Mike, usually the quickest one to figure things out, noticed the absence of the man who was always the biggest guy in the room, took one look at Joyce’s face and came to the same conclusion as El. He leapt off the back of the paramedic van and sprinted towards El, barely reaching her before she crumpled to the ground, taking him down with her. “El!”

“Nooo. No. No.”

Joyce finally let go of Will and they slowly approached. One look in Will’s eyes and Mike knew he had figured it out too. He’d never seen Joyce look so distraught, and that included when Will was missing and possessed, and Bob had been viciously killed. What the hell could have happened? How could Hopper be gone? He and Hopper hadn’t always seen eye to eye but it was unthinkable that he would never remind him to leave the door open three inches or make sure El didn’t miss her curfew again. And while he could certainly be annoying and overprotective, he could also be kind, thoughtful, caring, funny. Mike couldn’t believe how unexpectedly heartbroken he was. Hopper was like a second dad. Almost like a first dad, if he was being honest, since his was so absent and uncaring most of the time. But right now he needed to concentrate on El, who was clinging desperately to him and wailing uncontrollably like a wounded animal. He held on to her as tight as he could, feeling powerless and inadequate.

Joyce just stared down at the kids on the ground in front of her. Normally she would step in and provide motherly comfort but she was frozen to the spot, numb from the knowledge that she had killed him. Hopper was dead because of her. She was the one who turned the keys, set off the explosion. _Obliterated him into nothingness_. She knew she had no choice. She knew he had willingly sacrificed himself to save her and their kids. All the kids. But that didn’t make her feel any better. _Or less guilty_. She watched the other kids, including Jonathon, drift towards them out of the surrounding ambulances and police cars. She had no idea what had gone on in the mall – hell they were all supposed to be miles away at Murray’s – but now wasn’t the time to ask for an explanation. In truth, she was glad they were here, together.

Jonathon approached her, his eyes searching around the busy parking lot, overrun with fires trucks, paramedics, government agents, _helicopters for God’s sake_. He too was looking for Hopper, who was normally very easy to find in a crowd, but there was no sign of him. He could feel Nancy following behind. El and Mike were clinging to one another on the wet pavement and Nancy knelt down to talk to them. He exchanged a quick glance with Will, who was crying as he shook his head, before stopping in front of Joyce.

“Mom?”

She didn’t say a word, just grabbed onto him for dear life and started crying.

_Oh Jesus not again_ , he thought.

His mother was the strongest person he knew but he wasn’t sure she could survive this. _Not again_. She had been glad to be rid of Lonnie, so divorcing him had been difficult but at least it had been her decision. And it had made their lives better. So much better. Losing Bob had been much more difficult. It had taken her a long time to recover from witnessing the horrendous way he died. But nice as he was, Jonathon never thought Bob was quite right for his mom. There just didn’t seem to be much passion there. He was a safe bet and certainly a hell of a lot better that Lonnie, but not what his mom deserved. Hopper, on the other hand, had a deep connection with his mom that only a blind man wouldn’t notice. All the crazy stuff the two of them had been through had brought them closer together.

_Shared trauma indeed._

Losing Hopper was surely going to be the worst yet. They had so much history together, had been friends since they were kids, had finally reconnected in the last year to become closer than ever. He knew it was only a matter of time before they ended up together, and he and Will were hoping for it to be sooner rather than later. And as far as passion went, the tension between them was always palpable. Where Bob had been a little candlelight, Hopper was a bonfire. Now all that was gone. _He was gone._ It wasn’t fair.

Nancy quickly surveyed the situation before she knelt down next to Mike, who cradled El in his arms. Aside from Erica and Dustin, who hadn’t returned from their mission yet, every other member of their party was accounted for except Hopper, so she too immediately realized why El was sobbing and Joyce was a wreck. Even Murray, the newest adhoc member, was here talking animatedly with a man who had disembarked from one of the helicopters. If he and Joyce had returned from the depths of the mall without Hopper it could only mean one thing. Up until now she had been thankful that they had escaped another dangerous escapade with only one casualty – Billy. Sure, Billy wasn’t the nicest person, but he had sacrificed himself to save El and more than redeemed himself in the end. She looked down at Mike, who was rocking El in his arms like a baby. She couldn’t imagine losing Mike.

Mike looked up at her. “What do I do?” he whispered helplessly.

Nancy could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She and Hopper had become close these last months while she, Jonathon, and Steve had been tutoring El. Hopper frequently came to her for advice on ‘girly’ things when Joyce wasn’t available and she and Jonathon often stayed for dinner after tutoring was done. She loved his cabin in the woods and spending time there. He even gave her more shooting lessons as he had been impressed with her skill during the demodog showdown at Joyce’s. With her own dad being in a waking coma most of the time, she had very much enjoyed having another father figure. And now he was gone. 

She patted Mike on the shoulder and kissed the top of his head. “Just stay with her, hold her,” was all the advice she could muster.

*****

“Jesus what’s going on over there?” Robin asked, looking past Steve, who had recently arrived back after talking to Nancy and Jonathon. She gestured to the crowd gathering near El and Mike, who were wrapped around each other, sitting in a puddle in the middle of the parking lot.

Steve turned around to take a look. “I don’t know.”

They both stared for a few minutes before Steve said, “Hey, where’s the Chief?”

He climbed up and stood on the back bumper to get a better look. No sign of Hopper. Anywhere. He had a queasy feeling in his stomach. This could not be good. There was no way he wouldn’t be right there, next to Joyce or checking to see if El was okay.

“Steve,” Robin called, moving to join him, jumping down to the ground behind the ambulance. She could tell he was upset by the look on his face. “What?”

“I don’t see him. Hopper. He’s not here.”

Losing the Chief was unfathomable. Steve’s dad was away most of the time and when he was home the last thing he wanted to do was spend time with his son. His only child. Hopper was the closest thing to a father that he had. Not just a father but a mentor, a friend. He had taught him so many basic life skills like carpentry and car maintenance. Hopper had made him feel worthwhile when he asked him to help tutor El, and had welcomed him wholeheartedly into this weird and wonderful extended family created out of shared supernatural experiences. _This could not be happening_. And yet the devastated faces and crying party members clinging to one another seemed to confirm his worst thoughts. They certainly weren’t grieving like that over Billy.

Will spotted them and wandered over. He needed some space away from El and his mom. He was the most sensitive of their group and the waves of anguish rolling off of them was overwhelming. When he got to the ambulance he burst into tears.

“Hopper … he’s… he’s dead.”

Steve rubbed his hands over his face, obviously trying not to break down. Robin, who barely knew Hopper but had quickly surmised how much he meant to this group of people, asked, “What happened?”

Will shrugged his shoulders. “No idea. Mom keeps saying it was her fault but I don’t believe that for a second. I think… I think he sacrificed himself somehow. To close the gate. But I don’t know. I just…” Will trailed off, trying to make sense of the loss but not able to. Hopper meant just as much to Will as he did to the other kids. More, maybe. After all, he could have ended up as his step-father at some point if Hopper and his mom ever got their act together. That’s what he had been wishing for, and now it would never happen. And frankly, he was afraid of what the loss would do to his mom.

Steve was having none of it. “No. Nope. I don’t believe it. He has to be down there somewhere.”

“My mom wouldn’t have left without him, Steve,” Will assured him.

“But she doesn’t know that place like I do.” Steve argued. Then he motioned to Robin. “Like we do. We spent hours down there, it’s like a rabbit warren. He could be anyplace. I think we should go back and take a look.”

Will brightened a little. “Do you really think he might be alive?” he asked hopefully.

“I honestly don’t know, but we can’t leave until we’re sure.”

*****

As it turned out, no one was allowed back in the mall. Dr. Owens assured everyone, multiple times and over a lot of arguing and threats, that the deployed troops had searched every square inch of the complex and found nothing. In the end they had to give up, but it certainly wasn’t for lack of trying.

During the heated exchanges Lucas looked on from the back of a police car, where he sat with an arm around Max’s shoulder. Her parents had been called by one of Hopper’s officers and informed of their son’s death. They should be arriving any minute to pick Max up. Lucas could sense something else, _something bad_ , was going on by studying the body language of his friends, but he couldn’t leave Max alone right now to find out what was causing all the uproar.

He hadn’t liked Billy. Ok – he hated him. Mostly because Billy had hated him first. But of course he had never wished for him to die. It wasn’t his fault he had been possessed any more than it had been Will’s fault last year. It really boiled down to being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He had come through in the end, though. Big time. He still couldn’t believe how brave he had been to stand up to the monster in order to protect El. That’s what he was going to try to remember about Billy. That’s what they should all remember.

Max had stopped crying and was tucked into his side, her eyes closed. Lucas could not even begin to imagine what it was going to be like at her house in the next couple of weeks. It was stressful and uncomfortable at the best of times, with her step-dad being _so_ _intense_. At least Max’s mother seemed to like him, so hopefully he wouldn’t be refused access to see her. She needed her friends right now more than ever.

_He’s gone,_ Max thought. _He’s really gone_. Neither of them had been happy to be thrown together, and he had been a complete ass most of the time, but Billy is still her brother. _Was her brother_. Lucas’ arm felt good wrapped around her. She wished she could just stay here like this with him forever, but she knew her mom and Neil would be here soon. She heard raised voices and opened her eyes.

“What’s going on?” she asked, peering out at the crowd gathered in the pouring rain. _Was that El and Mike on the ground? Is it her leg again?_

“Don’t know,” Lucas replied. He thinks he’s figured it out because Hopper is missing, but he can’t bring himself to think about it, or say it out loud. Max has enough on her shoulders right now.

If he’s right, they’ll both find out soon enough.

*****

Mike finally coaxed El up off the pavement and moved her to the back of an ambulance while everyone else was arguing with Dr. Owens. The rain had been relentless and they were both soaked through. The bandages on El’s head and leg had bled through again and the medics were re-wrapping her calf while she squeezed his hand and cried. He was at a complete loss with no idea how to make this better. _Nothing could make this better._

He had no idea how much time had passed, or how late it was, but when a car pulled into the lot he was relieved to see Dustin and Erica emerge. With everything else going on he had completely forgotten about them being stranded up the hill with the transmitter. Someone must have remembered and sent a rescue party. Two other cars arrived shortly behind. He recognized the Sinclair’s station wagon and Max’s parents were in the second one. His parents must be on their way too. He looked down at El, knowing he’d be forced to leave her when they arrived. They wouldn’t understand what had happened. _How on Earth could they?_ He looked around and motioned for Will to join them.

“Hey,” Will said when he arrived next to Mike. “They won’t let anyone go look.”

“Look for what?” Mike was confused.

Will motioned with his eyes towards El, who wasn’t paying attention. _Oh, look for Hopper_.

“Do they think he -?” Mike whispered.

Will shook his head. No. _He’s gone._

“Will, my parents are going to be here soon and force me to go home, but…” he looked down at El, whose eyes were closed.

“Don’t worry, El is coming home with us. I won’t leave her alone,” Will promised.

Mike nodded his thanks just as his parents pulled in.

****

Erica went straight to her parents while Max was enveloped by her mother and quickly escorted to their car. No one had an opportunity to say goodbye to her except Lucas. Neil spent several minutes talking to the authorities trying to determine exactly what had happened to his son. It was clear he was getting no satisfaction, just a business card with who to call, when he stomped back to his car, slammed the door, and drove off.

Joyce joined Will and Mike at the ambulance while Nancy and Jonathon said their goodbyes, as the Wheelers had just pulled in. They exited their vehicle, looking bewildered at the helicopters and massive amount of military personnel in the parking lot.

“Can I talk to her for a minute?” Joyce asked, motioning to El who opened her eyes when she heard Joyce’s voice.

Mike and Will gave Joyce and El some space and met up with Dustin and Lucas a few feet away.

Dustin had no idea what was going on so blurted out, “What happened down here? Did Suzy save the day? Did they close it? Is the monster dead?”

Mike answered, “Yeah, it’s dead. But, but so is Billy and - and Hopper.”

Lucas looked at Will. “So it’s true?”

Will’s eyes teared up again. “Yeah, yeah, it’s true.”

Dustin couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He didn’t have a dad and Hopper had been a surrogate father for him too. Even when he exasperated Hopper with too much information he still knew that Hopper had cared for him. “What happened?”

“We don’t have the whole story yet, and we aren’t going to get it tonight. Mrs. Byers is taking El home. I think we should all go over there tomorrow and then we can put all the pieces together,” Mike said, taking the lead as usual.

“Will your mom be okay with that?” Lucas asked Will. They all knew how devastated she would be about Hopper.

“Honestly, I think she’ll be expecting it. She’ll want to know the whole story too,” he answered.

The other three boys in the circle nodded and then they all spontaneously put their arms around each other’s shoulders, forming a tight circle. Lucas could hear Erica calling them “nerds” in his head, but he didn’t care. Mike heard Nancy talking to their parents and knew his time was almost up. Dustin was still trying to process the loss of the Chief but thankful all his friends were safe. Will couldn’t believe the four of them had survived another monster encounter. He was sincerely hoping this was the last of their interactions with the Upside Down. After a few moments they released one another.

“Ok then, tomorrow,” Mike confirmed. “Dustin can you let Steve and Robin know? I’ll tell Nancy. ”

“Yeah, sure,” Dustin replied, looking at Steve and Robin who were now sitting on the trunk of the Toddmobile. He was going to ask them for a ride home anyway. “See you tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow,” Lucas agreed.

“See you then,” Will said.

******

Joyce had pulled herself as together as she possibly could for now. “Hey sweetie,” she said, as El sat up beside her at the back of the ambulance. She put her arm around the girl’s shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”

That started a fresh round of sobs and Joyce squeezed El as tight as she could, given her own bruises and scrapes, which were starting to hurt like hell to match her screaming headache. She really needed someone to check her for a concussion.

“You’re coming home with me, okay?”

“For the night?” El asked, not fully understanding the offer.

“For always,” Joyce told her. “You’ll be staying with us now.”

El hadn’t thought past the next five minutes, because it was too painful, but the reality of Hopper being permanently gone crashed down on her again, causing a fresh wave of tears. Of course she couldn’t go back to live in the cabin by herself. _What was left of it._ She wasn’t even sure how bad the damage actually was - she had been too busy trying to escape the monster to notice the full extent of the destruction. But she needed to know. She promised herself she would go as soon as she could, to see for herself. Also, there were things she needed to get that no one else would know about.

But as it turned out, it took forty days before she went back.


	2. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers Billy and Hopper's funerals and the slow adjustment to the new reality without Hopper.

_Anger is hiding many of the emotions and pain that you carry. This anger may be redirected at other people, such as the person who died or even inanimate objects._

**Day 2**

Murray had procured a car the night before, taken a hotel room and showed up at Joyce’s early with several bags of much appreciated groceries, scrambling eggs and popping in toast for anyone who wandered into the kitchen. And he made sure the coffee was good and strong for Joyce.

Now it was after lunch and the Byers’ living room was packed with people. Everyone who had been at the mall, except Erica, Robin, and Max, had arrived to explain their parts so all the puzzle pieces could be put together. No one had slept well the night before so occasionally a cascading wave of yawns erupted.

El had slept with Joyce last night, and between the two of them they had woken each other up with sobbing jags off and on all night. But it had been nice to have a comforting pair of arms to hold her. It reminded her of Hopper after her first nightmare at the cabin.

~

_El woke up screaming, waking Hopper out of a dead sleep. He stumbled into her room to find her sitting up, wide eyed and hyperventilating._

_He sat next to her and rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Hey kiddo, it’s me, everything’s ok, it was just a nightmare. I need you to breathe nice and easy ok? In and out. In and out. Yeah, that a girl. Good girl. In and out.”_

_It took several minutes but she finally calmed down._

_“Do you wanna talk about it?” Hopper asked. El shook her head emphatically. “Ok, ok, you don’t have to talk about it. But sometimes it helps. So if you ever do, you know you can tell me. Yeah?”_

_El nodded._

_“How about you go to the bathroom and I’ll get you a drink?” he suggested._

_El wasn’t capable of speaking yet, so nodded before heading off. Once she was settled back in bed with a glass of water on the nightstand, Hopper looked down at her. “Do you think you can get back to sleep?”_

_El shook her head. Definitely not._

_“How about I lay down with you for a bit?” He used to do that for Sara and it always seemed to help. But he was acutely aware that this would be a big step with El._

_Except for the occasional manipulative pats on the back from Brenner, no one had ever offered her physical comfort before. Especially not when she truly needed it. She had only been with Hopper for a few weeks and they had both purposely been very careful about physical contact. He didn’t want to spook her and she wasn’t sure she fully trusted him yet. True, she had been edging closer to him on the couch lately, and she loved it when he ruffled her growing hair or put a hand on her shoulder. Maybe she was ready for this. Maybe she could take a chance. Having been without it her whole life, she craved affection, in any form, more than she could ever understand or explain. She scootched over to make room for him._

_“Ok,” he smiled at her. It was chilly and he would have to throw another log on the fire before he returned to his cot. “Let’s get you tucked back in first.” He made sure she was covered and laid down on top of the blanket. He was careful not to touch her and suddenly felt very awkward lying in bed next to a pre-teen that was not his biological child. In a cabin in the middle of the woods, no less. He had the best of intentions and hoped she understood that. But he had no idea what had happened to her all those years in the lab, and frankly couldn’t bring himself to even think about what some of those things may be. All he could do was try to be as kind and caring for her as he could. And maybe, hopefully, distinguish some of horrors this poor child had endured._

_El liked the feel of his weight on the bed next to her and after a few minutes decided to chance it. She moved closer and tucked her head near his chest, so he lifted his arm and put it around her shoulders. They lay there quietly, El listening intently to his heartbeat. Strong. Steady. Dependable._

_After several minutes, when Hopper thought she might already be asleep, she whispered, “Thank you”. For leaving me food, for coming to find me, giving me a home, making me feel safe._

_He gave her a little squeeze. “It’s ok, kiddo. I’ve got you.”_

_~_

El returned to the present, wiping a tear from her eye. Mike, who was sitting beside her on the floor, sensed her sadness and squeezed her hand. When he’d arrived he had no idea what to expect. So far she hadn’t cried at all and been extremely quiet, almost stoic. She was very much like when he first met her, barely vocal.

Finally it was Joyce’s turn to talk and she stumbled through explaining what happened to Hopper and her after they separated from Murray, fighting the Russian, obliterating the machine in order to close the gate, _killing Hopper_ , and escaping back to the surface.

Everyone was silent until Nancy asked, “So he was trapped?”

Joyce’s face crumpled.

“He _was_ trapped,” Nancy repeated, sure of it. “He had no way out so told you to go ahead and pull the switch.”

“Switches,” Dustin corrected. Nancy rolled her eyes and glared at him. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

The conversation was interrupted by a knock on the door. “I’ll get it,” Jonathon said.

When the door opened everyone was surprised to see Max. “Hey, is it ok if I come in?”

Joyce shot off the couch, relieved with the distraction. “Of course it is,” she answered, enveloping her in a hug. “Oh honey I’m so sorry about your brother. I didn’t get a chance to talk to you last night.”

“I’m sorry about Hopper too,” she replied. Lucas had finally broken the news when they talked this morning on the phone.

Lucas was right behind Joyce. “Hey, I thought you were house bound today?” he asked, giving her a hug. He was very glad to see her and that she was able to be here with everyone. Even when she was with her parents it was like being alone.

“Neil and mom are making funeral arrangements, so they said I could leave for a few hours.” She glanced at El, who was looking back, so she walked over knelt down in front of her. “El, I am so, so sorry about Hopper.”

El knew that Max was in pain like she was. Not exactly the same, but similar. El leaned forward and the girls shared a hug. “I’m sorry about Billy. He… he saved my life,” El told her.

But right now, thinking about a life without Hopper, she kind of wished he hadn’t.

**Day 5**

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us to get your stuff?” Mike asked El for the third time.

El had been borrowing Joyce’s clothes – they were pretty much the same size – for the past few days, but they were all attending Billy’s funeral this afternoon and Joyce only had one appropriate dress. Besides, they had put off going for long enough.

“No.” El was not ready to see the destroyed cabin that had once housed her happy life. She just couldn’t.

“Stop asking her,” Nancy chided, holding the car keys. “Don’t worry El, I know what you need. We’re good.”

Ten minutes later Mike and Nancy arrived at the cabin and Mike was immediately grateful that El decided not to come. They both stood in the driveway, staring. “It looks worse than I imagined it would,” Nancy finally said.

_That’s an understatement._

There were a lot of damaged trees and fallen limbs. And of course the large gaping holes in the roof and walls. They didn’t have to worry about a key because the door was still wide open from their harried escape. The bloody axe that Lucas had used to sever the Mind Flayer’s appendage was on the floor next to the box he had jumped up on. The couch and everything else were wet from all the recent rain that had come in through the hole in the roof. There were bits of broken wood, shingles, books and other assorted remnants of El and Hopper’s lives strewn about the living room.

“Oh Jesus,” Mike said, gaping at the massive disarray as he circled the couch and moved towards the kitchen.

Nancy was frozen in the door, speechless. “Nancy?” Mike said, turning back to see her there.

She shook her head, a determined look on her face. “We can’t leave it like this. We can’t.”

Mike looked around surmising the enormity of what Nancy was proposing. It seemed hopeless. Everything seemed hopeless. This wasn’t fair. Then he spotted Hopper’s beloved lazy boy laying on its side. Out of nowhere he was furious. Mike picked up a book and threw it against the wall, startling Nancy. _None of it was fair._ Hopper should be here. They all needed him. El needed him. And he needed her. He needed her to be her old self.

Nancy moved towards him and put her arms around his waist, nesting her head on his chest. They had all been grieving Hopper’s death and she knew Mike was just as sad as the rest of them. And worried sick about El. She could feel his heart pounding. Eventually he returned the embrace and let out a sob. Nancy didn’t release him until she felt his heart rate go back to normal. The anger left just as quickly as it had arrived, and he nodded his thanks as they separated.

Then Mike looked around helplessly at the chaos again. “But what can we do? I mean, you have seen the roof and the walls, right?” He was willing to clean up but he knew nothing about fixing structural damage.

“Steve and Jonathon have both helped Hopper and I’m betting they know enough to at least patch these holes to prevent more damage. And if we all come out, we can get the rest of this place cleaned up in no time,” Nancy said.

“You think so?” Mike asked.

“Yes. Definitely. El cannot see it like this.”

The more she talked the more Mike liked the idea. Except for one thing. “Okay, but we can’t all come at once. Someone needs to stay with El. We can take it in shifts.” El had still barely spoken the last few days and couldn’t stand to be left alone.

They quickly gathered clothes and personal items for El, making sure to grab a couple of Hopper’s flannel shirts, and took one last look before closing the door. “So you think everyone will want to do it?” Nancy asked hopefully.

“No doubt in my mind,” Mike replied. “Now let’s get going. We don’t want to be late for Billy’s funeral.

***

“Well, that was a – _nice_ – service,” Dustin commented while standing at the buffet table afterwards with Lucas and Will.

Lucas knew exactly what he meant. The Mayfield family hadn’t been in town long and apparently Max’s parents had made few friends, and Billy even less. It was completely apparent that most of the people attending were there more to gawk and gossip than to celebrate Billy’s life or sincerely support the family. And Neil had been his usual self, causing undue stress and hardship. He could see it on Max’s face when the family arrived at the church. At least he knew it helped that he was there for her.

Mike and El sat quietly at a nearby table. El was still barely speaking but Mike was used to having to carry the conversation. Thank goodness it was the summer and he could spend all day with her. The few times he wasn’t able to be there, Will, Jonathon or Nancy had stepped in. He hadn’t seen El cry again since the night Hopper died, and that worried him. Even if Will was convinced she cried in bed at night, he wanted her to feel like she could cry with him too. He knew she shouldn’t keep it bottled up, but his few attempts to coax her to talk to him about her feelings had been a dismal failure. So he settled for just being there if and when she needed him.

Max finished talking to an aunt and uncle who had flown in and joined them. “El, have you eaten?” she asked. She and Mike were both concerned about El’s lack of appetite.

El shrugged her shoulders. “Not hungry.”

“Then do you wanna go outside with me for a few minutes, I could really use some fresh air,” Max asked, glancing at her step-father.

El hesitated but eventually nodded and the two girls headed for the exit, Max scooping a handful of cookies on her way. 

“Where are they going?” Will asked as he and the others joined Mike at the table.

“Needed some air,” Mike answered. He and Max didn’t always see eye to eye, but he understood that El needed to have a female friend and she and Max had become close confidants. Frankly, he was grateful.

“How’s El been the last few days?” Dustin asked.

Mike and Will glanced at one another as Lucas and Dustin sat down. Between the two of them they spent the most time with her. Sometimes they watched a movie or worked on an art project or just went for a walk. But she was quiet, even for her, and refused to talk about Hopper at all. It was like she completely closed herself off. The last few days had been surreal, coming to the full realization that Hopper was never returning. They were all grieving the loss of the paternal member of their party.

“About the same,” Will answered.

****

Max and El walked behind the community center where the funeral reception was being held and sat at an empty picnic table. Despite El initially being cold towards Max, they had become very close. Being the only two girls in the group had helped. And now they had the unfortunate loss of a family member to further bond them.

“Want one?” Max asked, offering a cookie.

“Sure.”

They sat quietly, eating their cookies. It was a hot day and they both wore sleeveless sundresses and flat sandals. Max’s mom had insisted on adding braids to her hair, similar to the Snow Ball. Max hadn’t had the heart to argue, so let her.

“Will Hopper’s funeral be like this?” El suddenly asked.

“Um. Well. It’s going to be a lot bigger, for sure. I mean he was the police chief. He grew up here, everyone knew him and he died in the line of duty, so it’s going to be a pretty big deal.”

“What… what does that mean?” El didn’t understand.

“When a police officer dies other police jurisdictions usually send officers to pay their respects. That’s why it’s not for another couple of days, it takes a lot more organization and coordination.”

“Oh.”

“So there will probably be a lot of police officers here lining the streets when they bring his casket to the cemetery.”

El was having a hard time grasping a certain concept. “But there’s no body to bury.” As horrific as Billy’s death had been, at least Max had a chance to be with him when he died, and they had a body to put in the coffin.

“I know, but they’ll have an empty casket and do the service with that.” Max grabbed El’s hands. “Listen, we are all going to be there for you. You will get through it, just like I will. And sometimes the service helps – you know – it helps you to say goodbye.”

El’s eyes brimmed with tears. “I don’t want to say goodbye.”

Max squeezed her hands. “I know El. I know.”

** Day 8**

Joyce looked at herself in the mirror one last time. She was wearing the only black dress she owned, sleeveless with a hem just past her knees. She slipped on a pair of black sandals and ran a comb through her hair, which she had decided to leave loose, mainly because she just didn’t have the energy to bother with anything else. She had no idea how she had survived the last week without a complete breakdown. The only thing holding her together was knowing she had kids that needed her. _Three kids now_.

El had continued to sleep in bed with her. Eventually they’d have to figure out another arrangement but for right now it suited both of them. Joyce knew El had been pretty stoic during the day, but at night they both let themselves cry and found comfort in one another’s tears. Maybe El could move into Jonathon’s room when he went to college and sleep with Joyce when he was home. It was just one of many things to think about. There was also school. She wasn’t sure El would be mentally ready to face unfamiliar teachers, demanding studies and other teens who could be cruel and thoughtless. If things were normal that had been the plan, but now she was going to have to play that one by ear.

The other complication was that Hopper had just started leaking that he had a daughter in order to make sure she wasn’t a total surprise come September. So far only the Wheelers and folks at the police station had been directly told, and he had made a couple of trips into town with her to visit Joyce at the store, much to the surprise of the other customers. But gossip in a small town spreads fast, so she had no doubt word had already spread. She only hoped there weren’t too many loud mouthed nosey idiots asking questions, today of all days.

Flo, bless her soul, had made all of the funeral arrangements. She had shown up at the house two days after the disaster (with a chicken casserole, a basket of homemade buns, three dozen peanut butter cookies and a pan of brownies) to let her know the police department would be taking care of organizing everything, and paying for the bulk of it, but asking if she had any wishes.

 _Jesus._ Did she have any wishes?

She wished she hadn’t kept putting Hopper off and told him how much she cared for him. _Loved him._ She wished they hadn’t wasted so much time, so many years, avoiding each other. She wished they both hadn’t been put through so much pain and loss over the years. But mostly, she wished he was still here, so she could look into his soulful blue eyes and put her arms around him. So she could have another adult around to have a coffee with and help parent their kids and foster parent the kids who had become extended family. So they could share one more cigarette. And so much more.

And sometimes, she wished to get the hell out of this godforsaken town that seemed to bring her nothing but pain.

*****

The service had been longer, more crowded and heart wrenching than Joyce had expected. Hundreds of police officers had come from all over Indiana, Michigan, and Illinois to pay their respects. It had been extremely moving to see them in full dress uniform saluting their fallen comrade. There were several speakers, including a former mayor (Kline had thankfully been arrested) who had extolled Hopper’s dedication to the citizens of Hawkins, and Officer Powell, who shared some hilarious stories about Hopper’s early days on the force concerning Mrs. Brewer’s cat.

El was completely overwhelmed with the spectacle and crowds of people. The church had been bursting, with standing room only and speakers set up for those outside. Even though Joyce had warned her that people may be curious about her, with the story that she was Hopper’s biological daughter spreading, she had been completely unprepared for the gawking and staring. She clenched Mike’s hand throughout the whole service. While the pastor was droning on about Hopper being with God she suddenly realized that at least he was with Sara now. She closed her eyes, remembering the special gift she had given him on his birthday.

~

_Hopper hadn’t wanted a lot of fuss, but with this group he knew that was pretty much impossible. He had sighed deeply and agreed that, yes, they could plan a birthday dinner for him. As long as it was low key. Just the family. Okay, yeah, well the whole extended family, so it would be a circus. Jesus when had he become so attached to all these children? Joyce just laughed and shooed him out of the store after making him promise to bring El for dinner Friday._

_When El and Hopper arrived her eyes searched out Jonathon. He was helping her with a very special gift for her dad. When she found him, he motioned for her to join him down the hall in his room._

_“Is it done?” she asked._

_“Of course it is, I wouldn’t let you down,” Jonathon replied, pulling a box out of his closet. He handed it to her._

_El smiled at him and lifted out a framed 8 x 10 photograph of Sara’s baby picture that Hopper had shown her. She had ‘borrowed’ it for a few days so Jonathon could enlarge it._

_“Do you like it? I think it looks great in the frame you picked out.”_

_“I love it.” El put the box down and hugged Jonathon. “Thank you so much.”_

_“You’re welcome. The stuff you need to wrap it up is on the desk. Do you need help?”_

_El shook her head. Will had taught her at Christmas._

_“Ok then, I’ll leave you to it._

_A few hours later, after a filling dinner of lasagna, buns, salad, and a black forest birthday cake, it was time for presents. El wanted to save hers for last so watched as he unwrapped a burgundy v-neck sweater from Joyce and her boys and a book on ‘Sheriffs of the Wild West’ from the rest of the kids. He turned the book over to look at the back, sincerely touched by the gesture._

_“Thanks. Really. This is great. I can’t wait to read it,” he told them._

_Finally El approached him with her box, neatly wrapped with a bow on top. She sat beside him on the couch and he smiled at her as she handed it to him. “And what’s in here? Should I shake it?” he teased._

_El shook her head in a panic. She didn’t want the glass in the frame to break._

_“Okay, okay, I was kidding,” Hopper assured her quickly. Then he grinned again. “So it’s breakable, eh?”_

_El was running out of patience. “Open. It.”_

_Hopper ruffled her hair, which she always loved. Then he tore off the bow and stuck it on top of her head, ripped off the paper and opened the box. He froze for a second before pulling out the picture. Staring at Sara’s baby picture caught him completely off guard._

_“I thought you could put it in the living room,” El said. But he just kept staring at it for so long she got worried. “Don’t you like it,” she said, lower lip trembling._

_And then a smile broke out on his face. Melancholy at first and then full on happy. “I love it,” he assured her. “It’s… it’s perfect. Thanks kiddo.” He leaned over and kissed her forehead._

_“Jonathon blew it up for me,” she told him._

_Hopper glanced at Jonathon. “Thanks Jon.”_

_“My pleasure,” he responded. “And she was a very cute baby.”_

_“Can we see her?” Dustin and Max said at the same time, approaching the couch. Soon everyone was gathered around staring at Sara’s bright blue eyes. They all knew Hopper had lost a daughter, but they had never seen her before._

_“Yeah, super cute!” Dustin agreed._

_“What was she like?” Lucas asked._

_The room went silent because Hopper was not known to talk about his first daughter. It appeared that he wasn’t planning to answer, but then said, “She was a lot less trouble than this one.” He put his arm around El to let her know he was teasing._

_“Really, tell us about her, did she like to draw?” Will asked._

_“Yeah, yeah. She was nowhere near as good as you, of course, but when she colored she could stay in the lines when she was three.”_

_The conversation went on for several minutes. At one point they were all laughing when he told them about Sara hiding and subsequently falling asleep in a laundry hamper and scaring the crap out of him one night when Diane had gone out._

_Eventually the evening drew to a close and El and Hopper drove home. Once in the living room they picked a spot for the picture and stood beside one another looking at it._

_“Thanks again kiddo, I really appreciate this. It means a lot to me.”_

_“You’re welcome.”_

_“I mean it. I love it. And I love you too.” He leaned over and kissed the top of her head._

_El beamed up at him. “I love you too.”_

_~_

El opened her eyes when the church full of people said “Amen” and started to rise. The – what had Mike called them? – pallbearers, started wheeling the casket down the aisle. She knew he wasn’t in there, but if felt like he was leaving her all over again. This time she couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down her face. _I should have told him I loved him more when I had the chance._

Soon the mourners left the church and gathered at the graveside. The one thing Joyce had not expected was the official flag ceremony over the coffin to honor Hopper’s service in Vietnam. When they presented her with the folded flag (she knew it had been Flo who directed them to do so) she had completely broken down. Jonathon and Will were flanking her and tried to provide some comfort, but in the end all three of them were crying. And then El was crying. And Mike. And well, everyone else.

The reception was at the largest hall in town to accommodate all the visiting police officers, several of whom politely offered Joyce their condolences. The Wheelers, Sinclairs, and Mrs. Henderson were all in attendance, still oblivious to what had really happened at the mall. The authorities were saying it was a fire caused by a gas explosion, which was somehow supposed to explain the lack of intact bodies for all the folks who had been coagulated into the Mind Flayer. The town had been overwhelmed with funerals for the past week, which was another reason it had taken so long to arrange Hopper’s. His was the last.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the last lingering guests were departing. The only ones left were the local police staff and members of the party. Flo was busy wrapping up the leftover food with every intention of sending the majority of it home with Joyce. Murray was having an animated in depth conversation with Callahan about conspiracy theories.

Joyce approached the table where the kids were sitting. El looked up at her exhausted eyes. “Time to go?” she asked.

“Yeah honey, I think it’s been a long enough day.” The longest day of her life, actually. A glass or three of wine was definitely in her near future.

“Okay guys, we should get out of here too,” Nancy told Mike, Lucas, and Dustin. The Sinclairs and Mrs. Henderson had agreed to leave without them when Nancy offered to drop them off.

“Yeah, us too,” Steve said, standing up with Robin. “Long day.” As they headed out he whispered to Jonathon, “So see you tomorrow at the cabin, right?”

“Nine a.m.,” Jonathon verified.

Everyone had wholeheartedly agreed to Nancy’s suggestion to fix up the cabin. They had, in fact, hoped to use it as a secret clubhouse of sorts once it was fixed up. They also agreed to keep it a secret from El for now.

Murray approached the table. “Well it’s time to head back to Illinois,” he stated.

Joyce gave him a long hug. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all your help this week,” she told him sincerely. He had truly been a pleasant surprise. Picking up food, cleaning up, cooking, running errands, talking to the authorities, being the only other adult she had to talk to who truly understood what had happened. And knowing when to discreetly vanish back to the hotel (which the government was picking up the tab for) when she needed space. She couldn’t believe she didn’t want him to go.

“You call me anytime. Anytime, Joyce. I will do whatever you need. I mean it,” he told her. And then he saluted the rest of them and took his leave.

“Bye El,” Mike said once everyone was out near their cars, giving her a hug. “You did great today.” Better than he expected, actually.

She hugged him back. “Are you coming over tomorrow.” She was still in her ‘I don’t’ want to be alone’ phase.

He was actually going to the cabin in the morning with Steve, Jonathon, Dustin, Lucas, Nancy, and Max. “I’ll be by after lunch, I have that dentist checkup in the morning,” he lied.

“Don’t worry, I’m home in the morning,” Will interjected, giving Mike a knowing look. He had taken the ‘El shift’. “Maybe we can bake some cookies, or go for a hike?”

“Okay,” El replied, but it was easy to see her heart wasn’t in it. And right now she was just plain exhausted.

Eventually everyone got into their respective cars and pulled out of the lot. El sat beside Will in the back seat and put her head on his shoulder. She had already thought of him as a brother even before it became official. “Will?” she whispered.

“Yeah.”

She had been wondering something for almost a week. Something that she couldn’t quite put into words and didn’t even really want to think about. But she tried to articulate it as best she could.

“What do I do now?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those of you who have left comments. All authors very much appreciate you taking the time to drop a few words to let us know your thoughts. I'm hoping to update this fairly regularly (approximately weekly) but the next little while is busy so apologies in advance for any delays.  
> Also, I know the end of the episode implies the cabin is still in a wrecked state (while Hopper's letter is being read), but I chose to adopt that it was a flashback prior to the kids fixing up back up... call it poetic license or whatever you like...


	3. Bargaining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Covers Days 12 to 38. As the days pass, everyone is slowly adjusting to the loss of Hopper. Joyce gets a big surprise and makes some difficult decisions, the cabin restoration project is completed, and the kids visit the high school and graveyard.

_Bargaining is looking for ways to regain control in moments of intense emotions, or feeling like you can affect the outcome of an event. You may find yourself creating a lot of “what if” and “if only” statements._

**Day 12**

Joyce was totally confused. “Wait, he did what? What does that mean?”

Mr. Davidson, the lawyer who had called her two days ago to set up this appointment, leaned forward and folded his hands on top of the paperwork on his desk. “It means that Mr. Hopper left his entire estate to his daughter Jane, but in your trust, so you have control of it.” He stared at her bewildered face. “Mrs. Byers, did he not discuss this with you?”

_He most certainly did not._

“No.”

The lawyer sighed. “I have to tell you, it’s unusual giving a trustee, especially a non-blood relative, complete control of an entire estate and not securing at least a portion to ensure the child is taken care of when they are no longer a minor. Very unusual. In fact I strongly advised him against it. He became quite, well - frankly, angry – with me. He must have trusted you implicitly to take this kind of risk.”

Joyce was still trying to take it all in. Hopper had obviously known that if anything had happened to him that she would take care of El without question. _And not expect to get paid for it_. There had never been even one second of doubt in her mind. Not ever. Clearly, he wanted to make sure she was financially able to do so. He was well aware that finances were a constant struggle for her, with Lonnie providing no help at all raising two kids. And now she an extra child to feed, clothe, house, educate. _Love_. He knew she wouldn’t squander his money and leave El in the lurch. He knew she would always put her kids’, and now his kid’s, needs ahead of her own.

_But more importantly, Hopper trusted her. Completely trusted her._

But still, this was so unexpected. They weren’t married or engaged. _Or even dating, for God’s sake_. She had expected whatever little he had would go to Diane. And now here was Hopper, trying to take care of her again, even when he wasn’t physically here anymore. She felt her eyes start to water.

“Mrs. Byers, are you alright?”

“It’s a lot to take in,” she answered.

Her offered her the Kleenex box on his desk and she helped herself. “Shall I continue then?”

“Yes please, go on.” She dabbed at her eyes and tried to compose herself.

“Okay let’s start with the liquid assets. He has bank accounts that will be transferred to you and you were also the beneficiary on his life insurance policy. These two items total about $40,000. Although there are some outstanding bills for some of the funeral expenses, taxes, my fees and so on that will need to be paid, of course.”

Joyce could not have heard that right. “I – I’m sorry, how much?”

“His life insurance policy was $25,000 and he had, let me check, $16,287.43 in his bank accounts.”

“That’s not possible,” Joyce told him. I mean, Hopper was a police chief, for goodness sake. He didn’t make _that_ much money.

“You have to remember Mrs. Byers, his vehicle belonged to the town so he had no car payments, and it appears he had no mortgage or rent payments either, so that would allow him to save more than the average person. He also had rental income from his trailer.”

“He did?” She thought he had sold it.

“Yes, he was renting it to a new deputy in his department. I’ve taken the liberty of speaking with him and he’s willing to purchase it from you for a very reasonable price. I’d suggest you sell.”

The lawyer looked at Joyce expectedly. Oh, he wanted an answer right now. Jesus, she was still trying to recover from the shock of the size of Hopper’s bank account. No wonder he always insisted on bringing over groceries, paying to fix up her house, and putting gas in her car anytime he rode in it for even five minutes. What the lawyer wasn’t aware of was that she and Hopper had also been offered a small settlement from the government after everything that had happened to Will and when they risked their lives to find him. Joyce’s portion had quickly disappeared to pay off her credit card, a new furnace and car repairs. Hopper’s had obviously been deposited in his savings account.

“Mrs. Byers?” the lawyer prompted.

Oh yes, the trailer. El had no emotional connection to that, so an easy decision. “Yes, that’s fine. Sell it.”

Mr. Davidson nodded and continued. “And he owns a ten acre wooded property on the edge of town that he inherited from his grandfather. I’m not clear whether there are any buildings there or not, but either way I suggest you sell that as well.”

This was a little surprising to Joyce on two accounts. One, she had no idea he owned so much property. And two, more importantly, it appeared the cabin was still an unknown entity. This made her decision very simple. “No, I’m not selling that.”

She almost laughed at the surprised look on Mr. Davidson’s face. “But why not? I know it’s not worth as much as it may have been, given the recent – misfortunes – in town, but it’s still quite a valuable piece of real estate.”

“The answer is still no. El – Jane – may want to live there someday. So no.”

He smiled at her. “Ah, very good then, Mrs. Byers. That’s actually an excellent idea. Keeping that property, which will no doubt increase in value, would be a prudent way to ensure there’s a nest egg for the girl in the future.”

That wasn’t exactly what Joyce meant, but if that’s what he wanted to believe she’d go along. What she really wanted was an unknown safe house if they ever needed it. She could hardly believe she had to consider such a thing, but given the last three years she had no choice. And if El ever did want to live there when she was older, or build a new house on the property, or even sell it, then it would be there for her. She definitely had a very powerful, emotional connection to this property. The only problem was that the kids said the cabin had been destroyed.

She’d have to go take a look.

She was still in shock when she left the lawyer’s office. She had always had to scrape to get by and now, suddenly, she was going to have a healthy amount of cash available. It was unfathomable. She was oscillating between so many emotions right now it was overwhelming. She loved Hopper for trusting her so much. She was extremely thankful that he had made sure to take care of El, and her boys. And her, of course. But she was devastated that he wasn’t here with her. It would be so much better if they were in this together. This was a tradeoff she would never willingly make. Not in a million years.

However, it did provide her with a little glimmer of hope.

What if she could finally enroll in nursing school now that she could afford to pay for it and take the necessary time off work to attend classes. She had given up her dream and cancelled her plans when she became pregnant with Jonathon. But now Hopper had given her an opportunity to pursue a career she’d always aspired to, with some real earning potential. Nursing was a profession she knew she would be good at and love. Retail would always be a dead end, low paying, and insecure job. It could set her family up for the long term.

She was going to have to give it some serious thought. 

****

Across town, Jonathon and Nancy were having a meeting too.

“Thanks for coming in,” Mr. Tate greeted them, indicating that they should take the seats in front of his desk.

“Thanks for having us,” Jonathon replied. Both he and Nancy had been totally surprised to receive calls from the newspaper.

Nancy remained silent. She did not have good memories of working at the newspaper office. In fact, the treatment she had endured and getting fired had been the most humiliating experiences of her life. However, Mr. Tate had been the one man in the office who, even though he went along with the crowd, had at least shown some compassion when he was out of their earshot.

Mr. Tate was fully aware of how badly Nancy had been treated. While he hadn’t agreed with it, he was never one to rock the boat. The men who had been the ringleaders of the poor behavior were gone now and as the most senior staff person he was hoping to change the culture for the better.

“Look, I’ll get right to the point. We are very busy here these days, and with the staff fatalities and abundance of local news we could really use you both back in the office,” he said.

This is exactly what Jonathon had been hoping for. While he was very happy El was going to stay with them, he was acutely aware of the extra financial burden this would put on his mother. He needed his job back and was willing to say so right now. But Nancy beat him to the punch.

“And what’s in it for us?” she asked.

“Nancy - ” Jonathon started, but a discrete hand on his knee stopped him.

Mr. Tate’s eyes never left Nancy’s as he replied, “Well, I’m willing to offer Jonathon an extra fifty cents an hour, and all the hours he wants. And I have a special assignment that I think would be perfect for you.”

“I’ll take it,” Jonathon agreed. Negotiation was not his strong suit.

While Nancy was overcome with curiosity about the assignment, she wanted to make sure they both got what they were worth. She smiled and leaned slightly forward. “Mr. Tate, you and I both know Jonathon is the best photographer in town. I think that’s worth an extra dollar an hour, don’t you?”

Mr. Tate glanced at Jonathon, who remained silent. He knew better than to get in Nancy’s way when she was on a roll.

After a few seconds he nodded his head. “Alright. A dollar it is.”

“Thanks, Mr. Tate. I won’t let you down.” Jonathon was ecstatic.

Nancy’s demeanor didn’t change at all. “That’s wonderful. Now tell me about this assignment.”

“Well, the news lately has been all about the horrible things happening in town and, as you know, our town’s reputation has been sullied on the national news. I’ve proposed a series of stories highlighting the lives of all the folks we lost during the recent – em – tragedy. Highlight the fact that Mr. Leeds was a minor league baseball coach, or that Mrs. Burns won the state fair baking contest four years in a row. That kind of thing.”

Nancy remained silent. “What do you think?” he asked, sincerely wanting to know her opinion.

“It’s a wonderful idea,” Nancy replied honestly. She was actually surprised it was so good. She was tired of all the negative press and imagined the rest of the town was as well. “Really, I love it.”

Mr. Tate was relieved. “I’m glad because I want you to take the lead on it. Interview the people, write the stories. I think your investigative skills and compassion are the perfect combination we’re looking for.”

Nancy was overwhelmed. She could feel Jonathon staring at her, then felt him take her hand. “It sounds amazing,” he said. And then he decided to return the favor. “So what do reporters make these days?” he asked.

“Of course the added responsibilities would be reflected in the salary,” Mr. Tate answered. “How does an extra dollar and a half an hour sound to you?”

Considering she had been making much less than Jonathon before, this sounded amazing. “That sounds very reasonable, Mr. Tate, thank you. There’s just one other thing.”

Mr. Tate looked at her, knowing full well what was coming.

“I won’t be the office coffee maker.”

Yup, there it was. Mr. Tate stood up and extended his right hand. “Fair enough, Miss Wheeler. We have a deal.” Nancy shook his hand and forced herself to act like a professional journalist.

She would scream with joy when they got to the car.

**Day 17**

Max, Lucas, Dustin, and Will were at the cabin for a last checkup. The summer had become hotter as July neared its end. The work had gone very well and it was back to its old self. To be honest, the place looked better than it normally did.

On the outside, Jonathon and Steve had done a surprisingly good job of patching the roof and walls with materials scavenged around the property. They knew from working around the cabin with Hopper that he kept every scrap of two by four, piece of tarp and sheet of plywood, just in case. They had also used the chain saw in the shed to cut up all the fallen tree branches, so there were enough logs stacked for the wood stove for months. They had also put the tripwire back up.

Inside, the furniture had, thankfully, dried out without mildewing. All the broken stuff had been hauled away to the garbage and everything else had been put back where it belonged. Will had cleaned out the refrigerator and discreetly moved anything worth keeping to his own fridge at home. Everything had been cleaned to within an inch of its life.

Overall, it had been very satisfying, while sad at the same time. Everyone had spent time out here and had an attachment to the place. Will loved the outdoors and enjoyed walking around the property and sketching trees. Dustin loved spending time playing games in the cozy living room. Lucas enjoyed having snowball fights and hot chocolate afterwards. Max could use it to escape her stressful home life. And for Mike, of course, it was his girlfriend’s home, so he had practically lived here. El still hadn’t wanted to visit so had no idea what they’d been up to. But it was ready for her whenever she was ready for it.

During the clean-up Hopper’s presence could be felt everywhere. From his shaving supplies to his flannel shirts, the half carton of cigarettes to the copy of “Sheriffs of the Wild West” that was laying open on his nightstand, his favorite coffee mug to his winter boots tucked in the corner. No one had the heart to throw any of it out, or even move most of it. They weren’t sure if El would react badly if everything was gone or if reminders of him would make her happy or sad. It was a tough call.

“Are you sure we shouldn’t pack his stuff up?” Max asked one last time.

Then Will had what he thought was the perfect idea. “My mom will know what to do with it,” he answered.

**Day 20**

Mike had finally convinced El to get out of the house. She was slowly showing signs of returning to normal life, so the gang was meeting at the high school after a long exchange over the super coms trying to decide where to go. Hawkins didn’t exactly have a lot of great options for a group of young teens, and their choices were even more limited. The pool was suggested but Billy had been a lifeguard and they all remembered the showdown in the sauna – so that was ruled out. The arcade had a lot of bad memories for Will and everyone was broke anyway. The mall was not even suggested – it was too soon – and much of it was still closed for repairs. The movie theatre had re-opened, but now that Steve didn’t work at Scoops anymore they would have to pay to get in. The junkyard had no appeal.

At one point in the conversation Dustin had said, “How about the ca-”, but Will had cut him off before he could finish. He and Mike had both, at different times, gently asked El if she wanted to go, but she had refused. It was the one thing she just couldn’t bring herself to do, so she still didn’t know what they had done. They were all dying for her to see it, hoping it would be a pleasant surprise. And also because it would have been the perfect hangout place.

Will and El arrived just as the rest of the gang rolled up to the bleachers by the football field and basketball hoops. Max was, as usual, on her skateboard, hanging onto the back of Lucas’ bike.

“I can’t believe we’re all going to school here this year. Freshmen!” Dustin said, climbing up a few bleacher steps to survey his new domain. Will joined him, turning to look out at a lone, middle-aged jogger on the far side of the track.

“Let’s have a free throw contest,” Max suggested, pulling a basketball out of her backpack.

“Oh you’re on,” Lucas replied, following her to the court. 

“Hey, can we practice on your board?” Dustin yelled after Max. They had all been trying to learn how to use it. So far the results were mixed.

“Sure, but if you break an arm don’t blame me,” she answered, setting up for her first shot. 

“You wanna go first,” Dustin said to Will.

“No, that’s okay, you go,” he answered. He wasn’t really interested in sports of any kind. He would have preferred to stay home and play a board game, but the whole idea had been to get El out of the house, so he couldn’t refuse to come.

El stared at the large, three story, red brick building. It didn’t remind her of the lab at all, but it was still intimidating. Her tutoring had been a complete success so was postponed for the summer. Hopper had filled out all the necessary paperwork in June to have her admitted. However, the excitement she had felt about joining her friends, doing something normal, getting out in the world had all vanished. As supportive as Joyce was, El wasn’t sure she could make it without Hopper here to reassure her that everything was going to be alright. Right now, it just seemed too scary and dangerous. She still hadn’t adjusted to being without her powers and felt extremely vulnerable without them.

“El?” Mike said, following her gaze. “Don’t worry, it’s not as big as it looks. We can take a walk around if you want. Would that help?”

“Okay.”

“Hey guys!” Mike called. “I’m gonna show El around.”

El and Mike headed toward the building. He had been on pins and needles lately, not knowing what to say. Unlike the first few weeks where she had been stoic and barely cried, these days the slightest thing set her off. He was glad she wasn’t bottling it in anymore, but it made every conversation a mine field. Even though Hopper had sometimes been hard on him, he missed the good old days when all he had to worry about was keeping the door open three inches and not being physically affectionate with El in front of him. He longed for the times of giggling and easy conversations in her bedroom while Hopper watched tv in the living room, pretending not to be chaperoning.

Mike pointed to a set of matching blue doors. “So those are the doors that come out from the boys’ and girls’ locker rooms,” he said, as they approached the building.

“Locked rooms?” El stopped walking, looking alarmed.

Oh Jeez. Mike was well aware of her aversion to locked doors. “Locker rooms, not locked rooms. Sorry. Its where people change out of their school clothes into their gym clothes and then shower after a workout or football practice. There are lockers in there to keep their stuff, you know, like the ones in the hall at the middle school.”

“Oh,” El said, feeling stupid. He took her hand.

“See that’s why it’s good to come here now, so you’re more familiar,” Mike continued, trying to put a positive spin on it.

They rounded the side of the building and then around to the front. “Here’s where the bus will drop you and Will off. Or if you get a ride with Jonathon he’ll park over there,” he said, pointing to the student lot.

“Will you take a bus?”

“No, the rest of live close enough to walk or ride our bikes, or get a ride if we’re lucky.”

El looked at the huge set of double doors, with the wide steps leading to them. Mike could sense her trepidation. “Maybe we can pick a spot to meet up in the morning, so once we’re both here we can make sure we see each other before classes start? And we can ask Mrs. Byers to ask the guidance counsellor to make sure each at least one of us is in all of your classes, so you’re never alone.”

El had naively thought all six of them would be together in every class, but after further conversation Mike explained that with different class options and times, and hundreds of students attending, that wasn’t possible. He knew it was becoming overwhelming when he saw her lower lip start to tremble.

“Don’t worry El, it’s going to be fine. Fun, in fact. We can eat lunch and do homework together.” He took both her hands in his, trying to calm her fears. “I’m not saying it won’t be hard sometimes, because it will be. All I’m saying is that you will never have to face it alone. I’m here. Max is here. The other guys are all here and we’ve got your back. We’ve got you.”

That saying reminded El so much of Hopper that she burst into tears. Mike pulled her close. “It’s gonna be okay,” he whispered, hugging her tightly.

But he really wasn’t sure.

****

Lucas, much to Max’s chagrin, won the free throw contest and Will and Dustin had managed to avoid any injuries while gliding on Max’s board. Dustin was actually getting pretty good. Once Mike and El returned everyone checked their pockets and between all of them they had four dollars, so decided to head to the ice cream stand for some sundaes that could be shared.

They took the shortcut to bypass the busy main street out of habit, forgetting that they would be passing the cemetery where Hopper and Billy were buried. El and Mike were at the front and everyone slammed on their brakes when she came to an abrupt stop.

She pointed towards the rows of tombstones. “Is that where -?” She looked at Mike.

“Yeah, that’s where Hopper’s grave is,” he answered gently. “Do you – do you wanna go?”

El thought about it for a few seconds before nodding her head. She didn’t know why, but she did want to go. Joyce had asked her a couple of times and she always said no. Mike turned around to address the others. “We can meet you at the ice cream stand.”

Lucas turned to look at Max. Hopper and Billy weren’t that far apart. He knew she hadn’t been back here either and wasn’t sure how she felt about visiting.

“I wouldn’t mind going,” Max said. “If it’s okay.”

“We could all go,” Will suggested. He knew his mom had been a few times and he wondered if there was any comfort to be found.

“Okay,” El replied, pedaling off without a backward glance.

“Here it is,” Mike said a few minutes later.

They had left their bikes at the entrance and walked in about fifty yards. There was still a temporary marker with Hopper’s name, as the tombstone had not been completed yet. Thankfully, the dead flowers from the funeral had been cleaned up and some grass was already starting to grow in. Mike put his arm around El’s shoulder. Everyone remained silent because no one knew what to say. Eventually Max slipped off to visit Billy, pulling Lucas along with her.

“We’ll meet you back at the gate,” Will said, and he and Dustin left.

As El stood there, staring at the ground, she recalled a conversation with Hopper.

~

_“That was a good one,” Hopper said, referring to the Miami Vice episode he and El had just watched._

_The episode had Crockett and Tubbs attending the funeral of a retired police captain, which had raised a question in El’s mind. But she wasn’t sure if she should ask._

_“You’re awfully quiet,” Hopper observed. Normally she was full of questions after the show. He turned to look at her. “What’s up, kiddo?”_

_“I have a question.”_

_Hopper looked at her, waiting. “Which is..?”_

_“I don’t know if I should ask.”_

_Now he was confused. “El, honey, you know you can ask me anything, right?”_

_She nodded but remained silent._

_“El?”_

_“Where is Sara?”_

_“My Sara?”_

_“Yes. Where is she – buried?”_

_Oh, now he understood. No wonder she was struggling. He had managed to have several conversations about Sara, but never talked about this. “She’s buried in a graveyard in New York City, because that’s where we were living when she passed away.”_

_El absorbed this information, giving it a lot of thought. Hopper waited quietly. “Did you visit her there?”_

_“Yeah, yeah, I used to visit her. Sometimes I’d take a flower or a stuffed animal.” His eyes got a little misty, remembering how long it had been since he had gone. “Would you like to go sometime?”_

_El looked surprised. “Really?”_

_“Yeah, for sure. I think it would be great for you to meet your sister.”_

_“Sister,” she repeated, liking the idea, and wondered briefly where Kali was at that moment. Maybe she’d look for her in the void when she went to bed._

_“Okay then, maybe we can plan a trip in the summer before school starts. I can show you around New York for a couple of days. My old stomping grounds”._

_“Stomping grounds?”_

_Hopper rolled his eyes. He should know better by now. “ Okay, a stomping ground is…”_

_~_

“El, you okay?” Mike asked.

“Can I have a minute?” she asked.

“Yeah, of course. I’ll meet you at the entrance.”

Once alone, El knelt down and placed a hand on the ground. “I miss you. And I love you. So much. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wonder what would have happened if I’d been able to kill that monster so you didn’t have to – to sacrifice yourself for us. What would have happened if I had figured it out faster. I’m sorry dad. I’m so sorry I wasn’t strong enough.”

She let herself cry for a few minutes, then wiped her tears and stood up, feeling just a little bit better for getting that confession off her chest.

****

Max approached Billy’s grave, still clutching Lucas’ hand. His tombstone must have just arrived.

“No one called him William, why would they put that on the stone?” she asked, annoyed.

“They always put on your full formal name. My grandfather had Jackson on his stone, but everyone called him Jake his whole life.”

Max looked at him.

“I’m not saying it makes sense,” he countered. “That’s just what happens.”

She looked back at the stone and sighed. “As crazy as it sounds, I miss him sometimes,” Max admitted. He’d never win a ‘brother of the year’ award, but he hadn’t been nearly as bad in California. He had been adamantly opposed to the move to the ‘middle of nowhere’ and had taken it out on her.

“I know.” He put his arm around her shoulder. “Erica annoys the crap out of me, but I’d miss her too.”

“Well that’s probably because you can’t spell America with Erica,” Max quipped, stifling a grin.

“Oh Max,” Lucas laughed.

That’s why he loved her so much, she could always make him smile. 

****

“I’m glad I was too young to remember losing my dad,” Dustin tells Will as they linger by the entrance waiting for the others.

Dustin didn’t normally talk about his dad. When they first met him and they asked he simply said he died. Will was curious. “So you don’t remember him at all?”

Dustin shrugged. “Just little snippets of things really, nothing substantial. He had a deep voice and curly hair like me.”

“My dad is an asshole,” Will stated. “Never liked me. Called me names. I’m glad he’s gone.”

“Did you ever wonder what it would have been like to have Hopper as a dad. I mean, he for sure was into your mom,” Dustin asked.

“Yeah, I thought about it. A bit. I mean, Jonathon and I talked about it a few times. I think it would have been awesome,” Will replies. 

“Yeah I think so too,” Dustin agrees.

Mike was approaching. “El okay?” Will asked.

“She needed a minute alone.”

“I’m not sure this was a good idea,” Dustin said, looking over Mike’s shoulder at El sitting on the ground, crying. Lucas and Max were headed their way.

But Will knew her better than almost anyone except Mike. “I think it’s a good thing. It’s another step forward. Maybe soon she’ll feel up to going back to the cabin.”

Lucas and Max joined them and the five friends watched El get up and start towards them.

“Maybe,” Mike replied hopefully.

**Day 24**

Joyce had been putting it off for several days, now that she was back to work, but she needed to check the cabin. The last thing she wanted was to leave it to the point where it may need to be bulldozed.

_And she had to go through Hopper’s things._

She told Jonathon and Will in the kitchen while pouring herself a cup of coffee one morning, making sure El was in the shower so as not to upset her. Both boys stopped scooping cereal into their mouths and stared at her, looking oddly guilty.

“What?” she asked.

Jonathon and Will looked at each other, knowing they had to come clean.

“Well, you see, we’ve been – it was a mess - I mean all of us have been – we’ve been going out to - uh- ” Jonathon stumbled.

“We fixed up the cabin,” Will stated.

“Excuse me?” Joyce asked.

Once the boys had explained what had been going on the last three weeks, Joyce was flabbergasted. “I can’t believe this.” She sat down at the table.

“Are you mad?” Will asked.

Joyce smiled at him. “Mad? How could I be mad? I think it’s a wonderful thing. I just wish you had told me so I could help.”

“You can help by packing up Hopper’s things. We weren’t sure what to do with them,” Will told her.

“It’s about as fixed up as we can make it for now,” Jonathon added. “But it could use some professional expertise, I’m not sure our roof patch is going to hold over the winter.”

“Leave it with me,” she said. “And please extend my thanks to the other kids.”

“We will,” Will said.

Joyce almost forgot. “Does El know?”

“No. She still doesn’t want to go there,” Will answered.

“Okay, good. Let’s keep it that way for now, ok? She’ll go when she’s ready,” she suggested. She was also keeping the fact that she now legally owned the property and the rest of Hopper’s estate to herself for the time being.

“Yeah, yeah sure,” both boys agreed.

**Day 36**

Joyce had not believed what the kids had accomplished when she first visited the cabin almost two weeks ago. It had looked so much better than she imagined it would. After surveying the structural patch jobs she was very impressed with Steve and Jonathon’s work, but agreed it could only be temporary. So she had arranged for a carpenter, an old friend of Hopper’s that she could trust to be discrete, to come out and do a more professional job. Now, as she looked at the roof with its new shingles and the walls that had once had plywood nailed up to cover huge holes, you could barely tell anything had happened.

_Like an enormous spider shaped jelly monster made out of human flesh punching holes through it. You know, normal stuff like that._

She had also put a new lock on the door and had several copies of the key made – she knew the kids would want to come out but didn’t want to leave the place unlocked anymore. She had the phone line disconnected and the phone removed – the monster had torn down the lines outside and they weren’t worth fixing. The kids confirmed that the radio still worked, so she felt better that there was some form of communication available if needed. She left one key under the cushion on the porch swing as an emergency backup.

She had packed up and donated most of Hopper’s things during her last two trips. She remembered thinking “good luck finding someone to fill these size 14 boots” when she dropped them off at the donation center. But she had been putting off packing up Hopper’s closet and dresser until the end. It was one thing to get rid of an old razor, but quite another to go through someone’s underwear drawer. She brought some boxes into the bedroom and looked around.

She had already decided to leave the bedding in both bedrooms. She wanted it to look like home to El if she ever decided to visit. Besides, if any of them ever did have to use this place to hide out it would be better to leave it fully functional. And she wasn’t stupid. She was fully aware Jonathon and Nancy had been out here using it as a make out place. And what the hell, good for them. As long as they were careful she was happy for them.

But sad for herself.

She stared at the bed again. Hoppers new queen size that he had bought only a few months ago and had been so excited about. The one she knew he hoped she would share with him. But they hadn’t gotten that far. She sighed deeply and sat down. She let herself imagine him there with her, his big arms around her. It seemed like destiny had kept pushing them apart for so long – Lonnie, Vietnam – and then suddenly the loss of Will had reunited them. Then Hopper practically ignoring her (which had driven her into Bob’s arms) had finally been explained when she found out about El. Her grief over losing Bob had cost them more time. Time that it turns out they couldn’t really afford.

_And then time ran out._

She had done a lot of thinking the last few weeks, and had made some tough decisions. Decisions she knew were not going to be popular. But they were necessary. Necessary for her family to have a fresh start. Everywhere she went in this town she was reminded of the horrible things that had happened to her family. And reminded of Hopper. She knew there was only one reason she would have stayed in Hawkins and that reason was gone.

_He was gone._

So it was time to move on, both literally and figuratively. There was only one big question. How was she going to break it to the kids?

**Day 38**

Joyce decided to tell the kids at the dinner table the next night, waiting until dessert was almost done.

“Hey guys, I have some big news to share,” she started. Three pairs of wary eyes looked at her and everyone froze. It would have be comical at any other time. She took a deep breath. “I’ve decided to put the house up for sale.”

Joyce was totally confused by the smiling faces until Will said, “To get a bigger place!”

Oh Jesus. “No honey that’s not why.” This had started off all wrong. Just rip the band aid off and get it over with. “We’re going to be moving out of Hawkins.” There, she said it.

“What?” Jonathon was clearly alarmed. “Why?”

Will and El remained silent.

“Look I know this is a shock.”

“You’re damn right it is!”

“Jonathon!”

“You want to take me away from Nancy? And El away from Mike? Separate Will from his friends? That’s crazy!”

“Why mom?” Will asked calmly.

“A lot of reasons. Too many bad memories here, no decent job opportunities, but mostly because I’m going back to school.”

“School?” all three of them said at once, looking like wary meerkats. Which again, under any other circumstances would have been funny.

“Nursing school,” Joyce explained. “To become a Licensed Practical Nurse. I always wanted to go and now I have an opportunity. It will be hard work and I know it won’t be easy, but it will help me to better provide for this family.”

El finally found her voice. “Where? Where is the school?”

“Yeah, where are you planning to drag us off to?” Jonathon demanded. He was clearly going to be angry at her for some time.

Joyce smiled a little. “Well that’s the part I’m not sure about yet. It depends.”

“On what?” Will asked.

“I’ve applied to colleges in five different cities”, she started. When she saw Jonathon start to protest, she held up both hands. “They are all within three hours of here. So it depends where I get accepted. The course takes 12 to 18 months to complete and my classes would start in January.”

“If it’s just a year then why can’t we stay here. I’ll take care of the kids while you go to school,” Jonathon argued.

“School is just part of why we’re leaving. I - I just can’t stay in Hawkins anymore, Jonathon,” Joyce explained. _Losing Hopper was the last straw._

“That’s not fair!” he yelled.

Joyce knew that this news was not going to be well received but she had expected some understanding. Didn’t they realize this wasn’t easy for her either? They _knew_ what she had been through. Suddenly it was all too much.

“You know what’s not fair?” she snapped, standing up. “Having someone you love die right in front of you. TWICE! Almost losing your child to something you still don’t fully understand. TWICE! And having to be reminded of all of that no matter where you go or what you do every God damned day in this place. I’ve managed to hold it together for three years. THREE YEARS! But I’m on the precipice here and I need to do something. So we can either stay and I’m going to fall apart or we can leave and I can pull myself back together. And I do not want to fall apart. Not when I’ve still got people depending on me.”

Joyce finally ran out of steam and slumped back down in her chair. The kids stared at her. Jonathon and Will had never seen her like this before and Jonathon was starting to regret being so nasty. El was just plain scared. She had just lost Hopper; she couldn’t lose Joyce too.

“I’m sorry kids. I really am. I know this isn’t going to be easy for you,” Joyce said, much more calmly. “But we’re going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those who have left kudos and comments. This chapter was a little longer than I expected so I hope you enjoy.


	4. Depression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter covers days 40 and 41, mainly focusing on the Party's reactions to finding out about the move.

_Depression is the point at which you may choose to isolate yourself from others in order to fully cope with the loss. Like the other stages of grief, depression can be difficult and messy. It can feel overwhelming. You may feel foggy, heavy, and confused._

**Day 40 **

Joyce had ended up going for a drive last night, right after the conversation ended, leaving the kids to clean up the kitchen and process the life changing news that they were moving out of Hawkins.

“You two better coordinate telling Nancy and Mike so they don’t hear it from someone else,” Will had warned.

So that’s exactly what they intended to do. Jonathon planned to tell Nancy that morning at work and El was going to bike to Mike’s at the same time to break the news to him. Meanwhile, Will was going to ride into town with El but go to Lucas’ house, and they would call Dustin and Max from there.

****

Nancy could not love her job more. She was on her fourth article and every one of them had received accolades from her colleagues and letters of praise from the community. Mr. Tate had been completely right about people wanting some good news stories. She was reviewing her notes on Linda Monrose, another victim of the Mind Flayer, when she saw Jonathon slip in the door and head for his photo lab, which was strange. Normally, he sought her out to say good morning. They were supposed to get together last night but he had mysteriously cancelled without any explanation. She thought he sounded strange on the phone and now it appeared that he was purposely trying to avoid her. Something was up. She considered waiting for him to come to her (for all of three seconds) before following him.

“Jonathon,” she called, watching his back as he walked down the hall.

“Hey Nancy,” he replied without turning around, which was also out of character.

She followed him into his development studio and shut the door. She knew him well enough to know this strange behavior meant something was going on. _Did he want to break up with her?_

Jonathon had hoped to have a few minutes to compose himself before breaking the news, but that obviously wasn’t going to happen. He had barely slept after apologizing to his mother when she returned. He was normally the one she could count on and he felt horrible he had yelled at her - even though he had good reason. They had sat up and talked for hours after El and Will went to bed. Still, the reality that there was no way out of it hadn’t sunk in until sometime around four in the morning.

“Jonathon is everything -” Nancy stopped when he turned around to face her. His eyes were filled with tears. “Oh my God, what is it? Is your mom okay? Did something happen to Will?”

“We’re moving out of town,” he blurted out.

At first it didn’t register. “What? No.”

“Yeah, mom broke the news to us last night.” They looked into each other’s eyes and she broke into tears too, moving to wrap her arms around his waist. “I’m sorry Nancy, I don’t have any choice. I can’t let her go alone with the kids. She needs me.”

Nancy was well aware how much Joyce depended on Jonathon. At times, early on, it had annoyed her. So much pressure on him didn’t seem fair. But she quickly realized that his family was very different from hers and she had no right to judge their family dynamic. And there had, of course, been extraordinarily extenuating circumstances. The more time she spent with the Byers family the more she understood and appreciated how tight knit their little family of three had become.

“Where are you moving?” Nancy asked, letting him go.

After Jonathon explained why he didn’t know where, Nancy felt a bit better. Good for Joyce for trying something new. “I think nursing is a perfect field for her. She’s so caring, and very brave to go back to school at her age,” Nancy told him.

“Yeah, I guess.” Jonathon shrugged, clearly not convinced.

“She is. Really. You should be proud of her,” Nancy insisted. “Look, we were going to have to deal with being separated when you went to college, so it’s just happening a little earlier than we expected.”

Jonathon appreciated her trying to look on the bright side. Such as it was. He gave her a tentative smile.

“We can do this,” she said with conviction. “We can. I mean, unless – unless you don’t want to?” she asked nervously.

Jonathon looked alarmed. “Of course I want to.” He pulled her back into a tight embrace. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

Nancy sighed with relief. She felt the same way. “Okay then, we’ll figure it out. We’ll make it work.” And then it struck her. _Oh my God, he will be totally devastated_. She pulled back and looked up at Jonathon.

“Does Mike know?”

****

Will and El separated at Lucas’ house. “Good luck,” Will said to a clearly nervous El.

_You’re going to need it._

Lucas was in the garage so Will rode down the Sinclair driveway. “Hey man,” Lucas greeted him, holding a box of gardening supplies. “What are you doing here so early? Wanna help me clean the garage. I’m not a free man until the job is done. ”

“I have some news, actually,” Will answered, climbing off his bike.

“What news?” Lucas was pretty good at reading people but he could not tell anything from Will’s face.

Will was the only one of the three kids who had not been surprised or angered by Joyce’s announcement. Unlike Jonathon and El, who had significant others here, he did not. He had, in fact, felt like he was drifting further away from his friends for quite some time, even while living in the same town. No one could truly understand what it had been like living in the Upside Down for almost a week, or being possessed by an evil being that wanted to destroy mankind. _Being responsible for so many deaths._ While he tried to get on with his life, those experiences had taken a huge toll. He was looking forward to a fresh start and, frankly, needed one almost as much as his mom.

“We’re moving out of town,” Will replied.

Lucas’ face fell. “Oh no man, really?” He set the box down and moved closer, putting a hand on Will’s shoulder in sympathy.

“Yeah, the house is going up for sale tomorrow.” 

****

El knocked on the Wheeler’s door, thankful that Mr. Wheeler’s car was gone, which meant he’d already left for work. She always felt uncomfortable around him. Where Hopper was usually warm and welcoming, Mike’s dad was rigid and formal. A moment later the door opened and Karen Wheeler beamed at her.

“Good morning El, so nice to see you dear,” she greeted. “Come on in. Did Mike know you were coming? He’s just getting out of the shower.”

“No, he didn’t. It’s a surprise,” El replied. _A big surprise._

“Well come on in. I just made muffins, would you like one while you wait?” she said, leading El to the kitchen.

The muffins smelled delicious. One thing Joyce was not good at – okay, terrible at - was baking, and El always loved the smell of fresh cookies and pastries when she was at Mike’s house. “Yes, thank you.”

A few minutes later Mike joined them, clearly surprised to see El sitting at the island. “El!”

“Hi Mike.”

Karen had been curious why El had unexpectedly showed up this morning and it hadn’t taken long to determine that she was nervous and upset. She liked El and had been surprised to find out she was Mike’s girlfriend (and Hopper’s daughter!). Apparently from a long ago one night stand if the rumors were true. She had called Joyce a few times to see how she was doing (and to try to get more information, which she didn’t). She knew from their high school days that there had always been something between Joyce and Hopper. Even if it ran below the surface, it was always still there. Those two had practically invented sexual tension. If Joyce had taken on the care of his child, there must have been a lot more going on between them than anyone suspected. She’d find out eventually.

But right now it looked like these two needed some privacy. “I have to get Holly ready for her play date,” she said, excusing herself from the kitchen. “Nice to see you El.”

“You too Mrs. Wheeler,” El replied, remembering the manners Hopper had drilled into her.

“This is a nice surprise,” Mike said, giving her a quick kiss the second his mom disappeared. “Do you wanna finish eating downstairs?”

“Okay.”

Mike gathered up a few muffins and a couple of bananas. Once they were settled in the basement El sat there, trying to decide what to say. Articulating something important when she was upset was difficult for her. She took a deep breath and thought about her words, as Hopper had taught her.

~

_El had a bad day. A very bad day. First the power had gone out shortly after Hopper left for work, and with it, of course, the tv. Then she burned her finger putting a log on the fire. And there wasn’t enough light to read without opening a curtain and that was against the ‘don’t be stupid’ rules. On top of all that, they were out of Eggos. And she couldn’t have toasted one anyway. By the time Hopper got home she was beside herself._

_Hopper felt chilly air as soon as he stepped inside. “Jesus kid, why is it so dark in here, and why’s the fire almost out?” he asked._

_His answer was a glare._

_“Okay, okay, no worries,” he said, putting down a bag and taking off his gun belt and coat. He opened the wood stove doors, assessed the situation, and had a roaring fire going within a few minutes. “There, that’ll warm us up.”_

_“No tv!” she shouted at him._

_It was obvious there was more going on here, but he tried the tv, which came on. “There you go,” he said, hoping it would make her feel better. But it had the opposite effect._

_She clenched her fists and tried to explain. “There was – it turned off – nothing to – dark – I don’t – alone – it was…I was…” Her chest was heaving and suddenly a glass that was sitting on the coffee table shattered._

_“Whoa, whoa,” Hopper said, taking her by the hand and pulling her to stand in front of him as he sat in the chair. He held her forearms and looked her straight in the eye. “El, I need you to calm down so you can tell me what happened. I want you to take some deep breaths with me, okay? Like after a nightmare. In and out. In and out.” She followed suit, and soon her breathing returned to normal._

_“Okay, good girl. That’s better, yeah? Now, can you tell me what happened? Take your time. I’m not in any hurry. It helps if you think through what you want to say first.”_

_El took two more deep breaths and pulled her thoughts together. “Tv went off. Lights wouldn’t come on.”_

_Okay, now he understood. “I think the power must have gone out temporarily.” She looked confused. “That means it went out for a little while but came back on.”_

_“It came on for you,” she accused, looking at the tv like it was a traitor._

_“That’s because the power must have come back on.” It was obvious she didn’t know enough to try again and had spent the entire day thinking the power was out. “Listen I’ll tell you a little trick, so if this ever happens again you’ll know when the power is back, ok?” She nodded. “The best thing to do is to turn on a lamp or a light switch, even though there’s no power. That way, when the power does come back, you’ll know because the light will come on. This tv is too old to come back on by itself, so it’s best to use a light. Understand?”_

_El nodded and wiped her runny nose with the back of her hand. Then she held up her finger. “Burned.”_

_Jesus, what a day. Poor kid. Hopper checked it quickly. “You put ice on it like we talked about, yeah?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“I can tell, there’s hardly any blistering. That’s my girl,” he praised. “Is that why the fire was out?” She nodded again and looked over his shoulder at the empty dinner table. She was hungry. “No dinner.”_

_Figuring out what was going on in El’s head was always like putting a puzzle together. But this one was easy. Obviously, she hadn’t heated up their tv dinners because she thought the stove was out too. And maybe she thought he was mad that dinner wasn’t ready, which couldn’t have been further from the truth. This was an easy fix._

_“That’s no problem. How about we break our rule and have dessert first then, while we wait for dinner?” he asked._

_Her eyes lit up for a second and then she started crying again. “No eggos!”_

_Hopper pulled her into a hug and patted her back soothingly. He knew she was used to some isolation from spending so much time alone at the lab but he always felt guilty leaving her alone all day. Normally things went smoothly but there was bound to be a few days like this. He knew exactly how to make it up to her. He let her go and walked over to pick up the grocery bag. Her face light up when he pulled out a box of eggos and a can of whipped cream._

_“What do you say kiddo, how about an eggo extravaganza?”_

~

Mike and El were sitting side by side and he was busy peeling a banana. El turned towards him and put a hand on his knee to get his attention. “Mike.”

“Yeah?”

She took one more deep breath. “Joyce is selling the house. We’re moving out of town.”

Mike froze with the banana halfway to his mouth. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. _This could not be happening._ He could not be without El again. He jumped off the couch and started pacing. “No. No – that’s crazy. It doesn’t make any sense. She wouldn’t – she can’t.”

“She can. She is.”

He stopped and stared at El, trying not to cry. “Why would she do that?”

El told him why. “I’m sorry Mike,” she finished. He ran his hands through his hair, desperately trying to control himself. El patted the couch and he sat back down beside her, deflated. El cuddled into his side, putting her head on his chest. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder. His heart was pounding wildly and she had no idea how to make this better. The last thing she wanted was to leave him, but she loved Joyce and was determined not to make this any harder on her than it already was. She had cried herself to sleep last night and knew Mike was crying now.

He pulled her closer and she ended up on his lap with his arms around her. “I don’t care where you live, there will never be anyone else for me.”

“Me either.”

They sat quietly for a while, just enjoying the closeness and intimacy. Suddenly Mike straightened up, a look of determination on his face. “What if you moved in here with me?” he suggested. “I’m sure my mom would be okay with it. You can have my room, and I’ll move down here.”

He sounded just like he did when they first met, when he planned to move her in. Just like then, she knew his parents likely wouldn’t agree. But unlike then, she now had a new home with a mother and two brothers. Joyce had taken her in without a moment’s thought and she had been treated just like the boys ever since. No matter how much Mike meant to her, she didn’t want to leave her new family. So even if the Wheelers welcomed her with open arms, El knew she couldn’t live here.

“I can’t stay,” she said simply. “I’m sorry.”

Which made Mike cry even harder.

****

Joyce had no destination in mind last night when she left the house, but somehow ended up at the cabin. So she sat on the porch swing and had a cigarette, carrying on a conversation with Hopper in her head. She had found herself doing that a lot lately. It was comforting somehow.

_I sold the house. The kids are pissed at me._

_Well, what did you expect? A parade?_

_Oh shut up. You are no help at all._

_Why change now?_

_Seriously Hopper, some help here please._

_They’ll be fine. They’ll understand. Just give them a little time._

_Is that all you’ve got?_

_Sorry babe, that’s everything. Except I think you’re doing the right thing._

_Really?_

_Yeah, really._

_Thanks Hop._

No matter how much concealer she applied this morning, she could not manage to completely cover the bags under her eyes. She and Jonathon had talked until after three and she felt much better about things. He still wasn’t happy, of course, but at least the hostility had dissipated. El was, as usual, quiet, so she didn’t really know exactly how she was feeling. She knew Will very well and has sensed that he was okay with the move. She’d call the real estate office at lunch today and tell them to go ahead and put the sign up tomorrow. 

Joyce sighed and gave up on the concealer. All the kids had left a short while ago, anxious to tell their friends the big news. She’d have to break it to her boss today before word of mouth spread across town. Half an hour later she knocked on his door.

“Hey Ben, you got a minute?” she asked.

Her boss looked up from the messiest desk she had ever seen. How on earth did he keep track of anything in the middle of that chaos? “Yeah sure, what’s up?

“I wanted to let you know that I’m going to be leaving town, so you have lots of time to hire someone to replace me,” she answered.

This was upsetting news. Joyce practically ran the store for him, making his workday a lot easier. And given the state of the mall these days, the store had gone back to being fairly busy instead of empty. He needed her. “Well I’m very sorry to hear that Joyce. Are you sure? I mean, if it’s a raise you need?”

Sure, she thought. Offer me a raise now when, for the first time, I don’t need it. Where was the raise last year when I practically begged you for one? She smiled at him. “That’s not it, but thanks.”

“When are you leaving?”

“It depends on when the house sells. I’m hoping to be gone by the middle of October. Maybe sooner.”

“Well okay, thanks for the notice. I appreciate it,” he replied.

“Okay then,” Joyce said. She tapped the door frame and turned to leave. “I better get back to the register.”

“Joyce,” Ben called after her. She stopped and turned back. “I really am sorry to see you go. You’ve been a godsend to me here.”

Joyce smiled at him. “Thanks.”

It was true that most people didn’t appreciate what they had until it was gone. She knew that better than anyone.

****

El was almost asleep on the couch by the time the rest of the gang arrived in Mike’s basement. Mike and Will embraced when he came in, starting a fresh round of tears. Max went straight to El. She had been almost as upset as Mike when Will told her and Dustin the news in Lucas’ garage. It had been so nice to finally have a female friend (she had none in California, either) and they had grown even closer since Hopper and Billy died. No one else really understood what it was like to lose someone you loved.

“How am I supposed to put up with this bunch of losers without you?” she asked El, which made her laugh through her tears.

“Losers?” Dustin protested, stepping over to hug El. “I can’t believe we’re losing our mage. Gonna miss you.”

“Me too, El,” Lucas said, taking his turn.

Finally Will approached. “How are you holding up?” he asked. She shrugged her shoulders. “Well at least the hardest part is over. And Mike looks like he survived.” _Barely_.

Eventually everyone settled down and there was an awkward silence. “Look guys,” Will announced, “we’re still here for a while. So let’s make the most of the time we have left.”

“Yeah,” Dustin agreed. “We always wanted to go to Raccoon Lake Park, maybe Nancy and Jonathon could drive us out one day?”

“We talked about camping out behind Will’s house and we haven’t done that,” Lucas suggested.

Soon they had so many ideas they didn’t think they could fit them all in. The whole time people were throwing out suggestions all Mike could think about was spending time alone with El. Time that was going to be severely impacted with all these activities and school when it started. He was glad he had so many good friends, but no one else was going to lose both their girlfriend and best friend when this move happened. It was a depressing thought. He and El had been separated for almost a year. The longest, saddest, most miserable year of his life.

He really wasn’t sure he could survive another long separation.

****

Nancy and Jonathon decided to stop for lunch at a small café on the main street of town after interviewing the Monrose family. They just settled into a booth when Steve and Robin came through the door and spotted them.

“Hey guys,” Steve said, approaching their table, “nice to see you.”

“You too,” Nancy replied as Jonathon nodded his hello.

“Hi,” Robin said shyly. Even though they all went to high school together, she didn’t know them as well as Steve.

Nancy and Jonathon had a quick silent conversation. “Why don’t you join us,” Nancy asked, sliding over to accommodate them.

“If you’re sure?” Steve asked, looking at Jonathon.

“Yeah, of course,” he answered.

The waitress brought more menus and took drink orders. “Great articles in the paper,” Robin told Nancy.

“Thanks,” Nancy replied. “We just came from another family. The stories are so heartbreaking.”

“Speaking of heartbreaking, how’s El?” Steve asked. He hadn’t seen much of any of the kids lately and was surprised how much he missed them.

“She’s been better lately but the last few days have been rough. We’re moving out of town,” Jonathon answered.

Steve was clearly surprised. “Moving? Why?”

After Jonathon explained Robin said, “Wow, that’s kind of amazing, switching careers in your forties.”

Steve’s eyes kept glancing between Nancy and Jonathon. He had long ago come to terms with them being together, and honestly thought they made a better couple than he and Nancy. He knew this was going to be hard on both of them. “I’m really sorry guys.”

“So what have you two been up to?” Nancy asked, plainly wanting to change the subject.

“Job hunting,” Steve replied. Scoops Ahoy was one of the stores in the mall that wouldn’t be reopening for months. “We’re headed to the video rental place next.”

****

When Mike heard a knock he knew who it was. “Come in, Nancy.”

It was almost midnight and he was reading a Batman comic in bed, not the least bit tired. It had been one of the worst days of his life. Nancy approached the bed and sat down.

“I just wanted to check on you. See how you’re doing,” she said.

“Probably about the same as you,” he answered. “Are you okay?”

Nancy sniffed and nodded, “Yeah, well, I’ve had better days for sure.”

“I’m sorry about Jonathon.”

“I’m sorry about El.”

“Sometimes it seems like everyone wants to keep El and I apart. First it was Hopper and now Mrs. Byers,” Mike admitted.

“I can understand why you’d feel that way,” Nancy replied, placing a hand on his arm. “Look, I know this isn’t going to be easy. But we’ll get through it. I’m just glad they aren’t moving across the country and will only be a few hours away.”

“Yeah, me too.” That had been the only consolation.

“At least we have each other. I’m here for you, Mike.”

Mike knew he had never really appreciated his big sister in the past. Despite telling one another that they wouldn’t keep secrets anymore, they still did. He was grateful that at least he had someone who would understood what he was going through.

“Thanks Nancy, I’m here for you too,” he told her.

She patted his arm and got up. “I’ve got work in the morning, better get to bed.” She headed for the door.

“Hey Nancy,” Mike called. She stopped and turned around. “So if I marry El and you marry Jonathon, will that make you my sister and my sister-in-law at the same time?”

Nancy thought about it a few seconds and smiled. “Yes Mike, I believe it would. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

****

El had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep.

She found herself walking through a large, dark building. She knew she was dreaming, but it didn’t feel like a dream. There was a long hall, with several doors on the right and nothing but blackness on the left. She turned to look behind her and saw more of the same. A cold draft on her neck made her skin crawl. One door up ahead had some light coming out from under it. She walked slowly towards it, constantly turning her head looking for anything dangerous. The damp air clung to her, making her skin feel clammy.

When she reached the door she pushed on it and it unexpectedly creaked open. The room was small, with a bed at the end, where it appeared someone was lying under a blanket. A small desk and chair were on one side and a sink and toilet were on the other. A tiny lamp barely lit the space.

The person on the bed continued to lay motionless. She wanted to go in further and at the same time wanted to run as far away as possible. She hated small rooms and doors that locked from her days in the lab. What if she got stuck in there? But something undeniable was pulling her in, so she took a few tentative steps. She looked more carefully around the room, always keeping half an eye on the bed, ready to run. There was some paper and a stub of a pencil on the desk. She leaned over and saw a crude map. It looked familiar and she gasped when she realized it was a map from the cabin to Joyce’s house. Why on earth would that be here? It made no sense.

She heard a groan and turned to see the person on the bed rolling over. With the dim lighting and shadows all she could make out was an almost bald head and a bearded face. Still, there was something familiar about him. She moved a little closer. His cheeks were sallow and there was a distinct bruise below one eye. His lips were chapped and his eyes were, thankfully, still closed. She knew she shouldn’t go any closer, but again she could not stop herself. She crept forward, barely breathing, until she was only a few feet away.

That’s when his eyes opened.

El jumped back, startled. She would recognize those eyes anywhere. It was Hopper.

She broke out of the dream and sat up in bed, panting. Fortunately Joyce was still asleep, so she padded down the hall for a drink of water. She drained a glass and then splashed some water on her face and looked in the mirror. She knew it had just been a dream, but it had felt like so much more. If she still had her powers she knew she would have gone into the void to look for him, just to make sure, no matter how impossible it seemed that he might be out there somewhere. But she couldn’t. It was so frustrating.

She returned to bed but lay awake for a long time, listening to Joyce’s even breaths. She thought about the picture of the map in that dingy little cell and then abruptly remembered that Hopper had hidden some things at the cabin for her. It had been so long ago she had completely forgotten.

She had to go to cabin to retrieve them, alone. 

**Day 41**

El had lied to Joyce a half hour ago, telling her that she had a headache, to avoid going with her to Will’s dentist appointment. Now, she braced herself as she approached the cabin, almost afraid to look. When she could no longer put it off she thought her eyes must be playing tricks on her. The cabin looked the same as it always had. No holes in the walls or roof. The trees had several broken branches but there was no debris on the ground. She was confused.

She parked her bike at the bottom of the steps and retrieved the key from under the cushion that Will had told her about ‘in case you ever decide you want to go’. She couldn’t have been more surprised when she opened the door. Everything was as it should be and the place was even cleaner than usual. She immediately burst into tears looking at her home, not realizing how much she had missed it until right now. While at times it had felt like a prison on the days she was alone and bored, it had also been a cozy, safe oasis. It was where she had become someone’s daughter. Where she and Hopper had built a little family.

She wandered into Hopper’s room, glad to see it looked normal too. Normal, but void of life. No books, clothes, shoes or cigarettes lying around. She opened the closet only to find empty hangers. She knew Joyce had packed up his things, but it was depressing to see every trace of him gone. She laid down on the bed, hoping to catch a whiff of his aftershave, but that was gone too, which made her cry harder.

Eventually she pulled herself together and went into her own room, also looking bare without her personal items on the dresser. Nancy and Mike had removed her things several weeks ago. She continued through to the kitchen, which was in the tidiest state she’d ever seen. Not a dish in the sink or drainboard, not a crumb on the counter. Opening the fridge revealed a defrosted freezer and a hollow, empty space. She circled back to the living room and sat in Hopper’s lazy boy.

She realized now that all the ‘almost’ references to the cabin from Dustin, and the prodding by Will and Mike to come here for ‘closure’ were in fact attempts to get her here so she could see the work they had done. She would be forever grateful to all of them for restoring her home. She looked at the front door and remembered the first time she passed through it. And she remembered the very serious conversation Hopper had with her about three months after they moved in.

~

_They were sitting on the couch watching tv. Hopper waited for her show to end and said, “El I need to talk to you about something important.” She looked at him warily. Anytime he wanted to talk about something important it usually meant more rules for her._

_He hated it when she looked at him like that, as if she were always expecting bad news. “It’s nothing bad,” her reassured her, turning off the tv so he had her full attention. “I want to talk about what you need to do if anything happens to me.” Now El looked alarmed. Way to go Hopper, he thought to himself. “Not that anything probably will, I just want you to be prepared. Understand?”_

_El shook her head._

_Hopper sighed. “Okay let’s start over. I want to have a plan ready for you in case something happens to me. For example, if I’m in a car accident and get hurt really bad.”_

_“Or die?” El whispered, horrified at the thought. She understood what death was._

_Hopper nodded. “Yes, El. If I die. Because right now no one knows you’re here except for me, so no one would know to come and find you. The chances of anything happening are very small, but we should both be prepared just in case.” And because this scenario had been keeping him up at night._

_El appeared to be listening carefully, so he forged on._

_“The same plan would apply if anyone finds us here and you need to escape alone. I want you to be ready for that too.”_

_“Alone?” she asked. “Why?”_

_Because the bad guys would most likely try to take me out first. Because he would want her to get a head start. Because he would fight to the death to protect her and make sure she didn’t spend one more minute of her life in a lab. But he couldn’t say any of that._

_“Again, it’s just in case I can’t leave, or if I’m not here in the first place,” he said instead._

_“Or if you stay to fight,” El added._

_Smart girl. “Okay, yeah,” he conceded, ruffling her hair. “That too.”_

_He got up and pulled a metal box out from under his cot. He put it on the coffee table and opened the lid, revealing a pile of cash and a piece of paper. “This is a map to get to Joyce’s house, you remember her, Will’s mom?”_

_El nodded and smiled. She liked Will’s mom._

_“If you have to leave without me or if I don’t come home for 2 days, I want you to take this money and go to Joyce’s house. Give her the money and tell her everything. She’ll take care of you.”_

_He knew this plan was a bit of a stretch because at this moment everyone thought El was dead, including Joyce, but it was better than nothing and the best he could come up with. And he knew instinctively that he could rely on Joyce not to turn El away. The two of them seem to have formed an immediate connection._

_El was just learning what money was and what it was worth, but she knew enough to realize the pile of bills he showed her was a LOT of money. She had also worried what she would do if Hopper never came home, so knowing she had a way to get to Joyce was very comforting._

_“Okay?” Hopper asked her._

_“Yes.”_

_“Okay then,” he said, putting the items back in the box and replacing it under the cot._

_Over the next year and half the box had several additions and moved location as needed. After Hopper received El’s birth certificate he procured passports for both of them and they were added to the box. The pile of cash grew until it was over three thousand dollars. Enough for both of them to get out of the country if they had to run that far. After she closed the gate and had been completely drained of her powers for several days, he gave her some shooting lessons and added a small, unloaded handgun and some ammunition to the box. Just in case._

_“For emergencies only,” he warned her with a stern look. “Understand?”_

_~_

After El had discovered the crawlspace Hopper decided to move their safe box down there. El had never told anyone about the crawlspace, so assumed the box had not been found during the cleanup operation. Up until now she had thankfully never needed it and she hoped she never would, but wasn’t willing to take that chance. What if something ever happened to Joyce? She got up out of the chair and shifted the coffee table so she could open the hatch.

Five minutes later the hatch was closed and the box sat on the coffee table. She opened it to make sure its contents hadn’t changed. She hadn’t touched the gun in a very long time, but was sure she could load and fire it if she had to, just as Hopper had taught her. Now that she had no powers she may need it someday. She opened Hopper’s passport and looked at his picture. Not a very good one but neither was hers. She closed the lid and immediately felt better, knowing her safety net was intact.

Suddenly she heard the radio crackle and Will’s voice came out. “El, if you’re there, please answer. Over.”

Damn. Will and Joyce must have returned from his dentist appointment. She planned to beat them home but must have lost track of time. She walked to the desk with the radio and picked up the mouthpiece. “I’m here. Over.”

“Oh thank God. Mom is not happy El. Oh – uh - here she is.”

“El,” Joyce’s angry voice floated out of the radio. “I don’t know what you were thinking taking off without telling me or even leaving me a note but I’ve been worried sick. You finish up whatever you’re doing right now and come home, do you hear me?”

“You have to say over, mom,” Will prompted.

“Do you hear me? Over.”

“Yes. I’m sorry. Over.” Joyce had never been mad at her before. She didn’t like the feeling at all.

Joyce’s voice softened a little. “I know honey, and I’m glad you finally went to the cabin. But you cannot do this kind of thing. You know that. I would come and get you but I have to get to work. You are to spend the day here at the house, no visitors, and we are going to have a serious talk when I get home tonight. Understand?”

“Mom…” Will repeated.

“Dammit. Over.”

“I understand. Over,” El replied, feeling bad that she had worried Joyce. She left quickly, re-locking the door and replacing the key under the cushion. She placed the safe box in the basket on the front of her bike and pedaled as fast as she could.

She would have to find a good hiding place for it when she got back.

****

Mike had been pacing since Will called to ask if El was there. She wasn’t. And apparently no one knew where she was. It seemed like hours ago, even though he knew it was less than fifteen minutes. When he heard the phone he grabbed it on the first ring.

“Did you find her?”

“Yeah,” Will answered. “You were right. She was at the cabin. She’s on her way home now.

“Thank God,” Mike replied, slowing sliding down the wall with relief, ending up in a heap on the basement floor. “Can you tell her I’ll be over later?”

“Sorry Mike, you can’t come over and she can’t go out. Mom was really pissed so she’s grounded.”

“For how long?” This was awful news. He had planned to spend most of the day alone with her.

“Not sure,” Will replied.

“Well then maybe you and I can hang out?” Mike suggested. Lucas’ grandparents were visiting and Dustin had gone to Indianapolis shopping with his mom.

“I think I better hang here with El. Sorry Mike,” Will apologized.

“That’s okay. Sure. Of course. I’ve got lots of other things to do. Tell El I’ll call her later.”

But as it turned out he just laid on his bed staring at the ceiling all day.

****

The kids were watching a movie after Joyce’s heart to heart with El, where she made it perfectly clear the two most important rules were no lying and always letting her know where she was. She slipped out to the front porch to enjoy a quiet smoke, glad that conversation was over. She hated having to be the bad guy, the disciplinarian, and thankfully hadn’t had to do much of it with the boys. Something told her El was going to be a bit more of a challenge. She took a deep puff and sat down on the step.

_Well Hop, I was pretty mad at our girl today._

_Yeah, I know._

_She scared the crap out of me._

_I hear you. Been there, done that._

_Still, I’m feeling a little guilty about grounding her, even if was just for a day._

_Don’t. She deserved it._

_I had every intention of making it longer until she looked at me with those eyes that could melt a glacier._

_Yeah, everyone thinks telekinesis is her special power but it’s really those big doe eyes of hers. I should have warned you._

_Yes you should have._

_My only advice is to look away. Seriously, it’s your only hope._

_This would be a lot easier if you were here. Then you could be the bad guy._

_I’m the good guy babe, remember? Besides, you don’t need me, you’re a great parent. And you know what I really love?_

_What?_

_You called her ‘our girl’._

_Yeah, well, I guess I’ve always thought of her that way._

_Me too._

_Night Hop._

_Night Joyce._

Joyce finished her cigarette and took a deep breath before heading back inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, almost to the finish line. One more chapter and it's almost done a first draft, so it should be up within a week. Thanks to everyone who has left kudos or comments. If you're enjoying this story please take a moment and leave a short comment - these mean the world to authors who pour their heart and soul into these stories and take the time to write them.


	5. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last few weeks before the Byers leave town...

_Acceptance is not necessarily a happy or uplifting stage of grief. It doesn’t mean you’ve moved past the grief or loss. It does, however, mean that you’ve accepted it and have come to understand what it means in your life now._

**Day 46**

Ever since El had visited the cabin it had indeed become the gang’s favorite hangout. Lucas, Will, Max and Dustin were playing a seemingly endless game of Monopoly and Mike and El were sitting on the porch swing having a quiet conversation when Steve pulled in.

“Steve!” El called, running down the steps and into his arms.

He lifted her off the ground in a tight hug before placing her back down. “Hey squirt, how have you been? You like the cabin?”

“It’s incredible. I know you helped, so thanks.” She had already thanked everyone else for their part in restoring her home.

“I haven’t seen it since the roof was professionally done, it looks like new,” he said, standing with his hands on his hips surveying the work.

“Hey, Steve’s here!” Dustin yelled from the doorway.

Soon Steve was surrounded by his six favorite kids while he and Dustin performed their elaborate handshake, which made everyone laugh. Then Steve turned to Will and El. “So I heard the news you guys are leaving town,” he stated.

“Yeah,” Will replied. “I think we’re finally getting used to the idea.”

“I’ll never get used to it,” Mike grumbled, so El put her arm around his waist.

“It’s tough, I know,” Steve agreed, “But it could also be kind of exciting, right? New city, new house. And not too far away. Your mom is kind of amazing wanting to go back to school.”

Will and El nodded their agreement.

“You wanna stay for lunch?” Dustin asked. Everyone brought snacks to keep the cabin stocked and they decided that each person should take a turn bringing something for lunch if they were going to be there all day. Today had been his turn and he brought two dozen hot dogs.

Steve really missed Hopper and spending time at the cabin. His own dad was a total nonentity in his life and he missed having a caring father figure. He knew most of the kids felt the same way. And in truth, he missed tutoring El too. His official subject had been geography but he spent more time on entertainment and culture so El would more easily fit in when she went to school. He couldn’t have her showing up not knowing who Elvis Presley was or that the Beatles had broken up, could he? Dustin was like the little brother he never had, so he was always happy to spend time with him. These kids were part of his extended family. Part of him.

“Sure, that would be great.”

****

It was a never ending struggle to keep the house clean and tidy for the prospective buyers who had started coming through the house. Joyce was grateful the kids had been spending more time at the cabin as it made it much easier to show the house without half dozen teenagers lounging around, constantly eating and messing up the place. She and the kids had spent two days ‘decluttering’ on the advice of the Mr. Simmons, her real estate agent, who had come over the day after she called to put the house on the market. He measured room sizes, noted the size of the property, asked what the house taxes were, wanted to know the age of the appliances and asked so many other questions.

Is that a new window here?

Yes. _Because a demonic dog was thrown through the original one by a telekinetic teenage girl who saved our lives._

New flooring here in the hallway?

Yeah. _Totally necessary after my son and his girlfriend trapped a Demogorgon in a bear trap and set it on fire. You know, the usual teenage stuff._

The fridge looks to be in good shape.

It is. _And it’s very clean too. I practically took a power washer to it after the kids decided to store the dead demon dog in there for scientific research._

She took one last look around before picking up her keys, knowing the real estate agent was coming through with two different groups this afternoon while she was at work. She hadn’t been sure how much interest there would be in her house, such as it was, but even before the ad hit the paper several buyers were lined up to take a look. It seemed that living outside of town on a private lot was suddenly very appealing.

Over the last couple of days Mr. Simmons had been preparing her for the possibility of a quick sale – one couple was coming back for a second visit already - but she’d believe it when she saw the paperwork. Her whole ‘go back to school’ plan hinged on selling the house and she hated having strangers nosing around, so the sooner the better.

Her nerves were also on edge lately because she should be hearing back about her college applications in the next week. _But what if she didn’t get accepted anywhere?_ Stop it, Joyce, she told herself. She was sure to get accepted to at least one college. Hopefully more than one so they had a choice.

Either way, she planned to start packing soon.

**Day 48**

El was feeling more and more like part of the Byers family. By the time August had arrived Joyce had stopped treating her with kid gloves and gave her household chores like the boys. Since Jonathon did most of the cooking and held down a job, Will and El set and cleared the table and did the dishes, alternating between washing and drying. They were also in charge of laundry, vacuuming and dusting. El was quite used to having chores so found this comforting. Contributing to the household made her feel like a genuine family member.

When Joyce had punished her for going to the cabin without telling her she had felt bad for making her worry. But it also made her feel even more like she was part of the family. Hopper had once told her that parents didn’t punish their kids because they were mad, but because they loved them. She had always felt that Joyce loved her, and now she had even more proof. It was reassuring to be treated normally and have Joyce act like any ordinary upset mother would. Things finally seemed to be settling into a natural rhythm.

_But that didn’t mean she forgot about Hopper._

She missed him so much it still took her breath away sometimes. It normally wasn’t the same sharp pain now, more like a dull ache. A constant feeling that something was absent. She had hoped to have another dream about him but so far that hadn’t happened.

El pulled a load of towels out of the dryer, dumping them into the clothes basket, and carried them out to the living room to fold. Will was just getting out of the shower, Jonathon was out with Nancy and Joyce was changing into her pajamas in her bedroom. When the phone rang, she heard Joyce call from down the hall that she would get it. El turned on the tv and pulled the warm, dry towels from the basket, folding them into two neat piles depending on their size.

“Want some help?” Will asked as he entered the living room.

“No, it’s ok. It’s my turn.”

“What’s on?” Will asked, sitting on the couch and looking at the tv.

“MacGyver rerun.”

“Hey kids,” Joyce said from the hallway a few minutes later. Neither of them had heard her coming.

Will recognized the look on her face. Something had happened. “What’s going on?”

She gave him a tentative smile as she approached.

“Looks like the house is sold.”

****

“How can you agree to the sale if we don’t know where we’re going?” Jonathon asked when he got home.

He sat at the kitchen table across from Joyce, thinking that this was all happening too fast. Even though he had finally accepted that they were moving, a small part of him was hoping the house wouldn’t sell. And now it had sold within a week.

“The closing date they asked for is October 6th so we have lots of time. I’ll hear back from the colleges next week. It’s a good offer, a few thousand over the asking price. I can’t turn it down.”

She reached across the table and took his hand, silently asking for his understanding. “Once I know what colleges accepted me and we all make a decision I’d love for you to come house hunting with me.”

Joyce had promised the kids that they would all be included in the college acceptance decision, which helped a little bit. “Yeah, okay. I guess it’s better to have the house sold early so we have more time to find a new place,” he conceded.

Joyce squeezed his hand. “Thanks honey.”

**Day 52**

The weather had cooperated and they had a perfect ‘end of the summer’ day for their trip to Raccoon Lake park. It had taken a while to find a day where the older teens were all available, but finally the stars had aligned. Steve and Robin had Dustin, Lucas and Max in their car while Nancy and Jonathon had Will, Mike and El. They set out at nine in the morning for the hour long drive. Coolers were filled with food and drinks, bags were packed with bathing suits and towels, and games, balls and various floaties were all loaded in the trunks.

El held Mike’s hand and put her head on his shoulder in the back seat. He had been less emotional lately about her leaving, but she knew he was still extremely upset. They spent almost every minute together but it would never be enough with her departure date now set. She knew she would miss him, but was slowly becoming more excited at the prospect of a new home. One that was new to everyone and not just her. She was also tired of the stares and whispers of the townsfolk whenever they saw her, sure to be gossiping about her relationships with Hopper and Joyce. She and Will often talked about using this move as a fresh start and trying to make the most of it.

El closed her eyes and looked forward to Steve teaching her how to swim. Suddenly, the memory of buying her new bathing suit popped into her head.

~

_The first summer she spent at the cabin was stifling, so Hopper had bought several fans and kept the freezer stocked with popsicles and freezies to help soothe the heat. Then one day he showed up with an enormous blow up kiddie pool, which he set up in the yard and filled with water. Sometimes he would spray her with the hose or sit on a lawn chair next to her with his bare feet in the water, sipping a beer. At first, El would lay in it with her clothes on, but eventually Hopper bought her a one piece bathing suit on one of his shopping trips to a nearby town._

_This past June she had been excitedly looking forward to a summer outside with her friends. In preparation she had tried on her suit, only to find it much too small, especially in the chest area._

_One night at dinner she broached the subject. “I need a new bathing suit.”_

_“Are you sure?” he asked while spooning a forkful of mashed potatoes into his mouth._

_She rolled her eyes at him. Of course she was sure or she wouldn’t ask, so she decided to tease him. “It’s a little tight down here,” she said, tapping the front of her belly, “and there’s no room for my,” she used both hands to indicate her growing chest. It was hard not to laugh at the look on his face._

_“Okay, enough said,” Hopper replied quickly, holding up his hands in surrender. Seriously, he thought, don’t say one more word. He was perfectly aware of how much she had ‘matured’ over this past winter. But he certainly didn’t want them – Jesus, her - to be on display any more than absolutely necessary. Especially in front of that Wheeler kid. Thank God Nancy and Joyce were able to talk her through her first period and the ensuing discussion about sex that had also happened over this past winter._

_“How about I ask Nancy to take you shopping?” he offered, thinking that she was mature and reasonable._

_El smiled. “Yes!”_

_“Okay, but absolutely no bikinis,” he warned._

_El looked at him with a confused face. “What’s a bikini?”_

_Oh Jesus. “It’s something you are never going to wear.” Seriously, never._

_“But what is it?”_

_Hopper sighed deeply, wishing he had never brought it up. “It’s a small, two piece bathing suit. You, on the other hand, are going to find a modest one piece that covers everything from here to here,” he demanded, motioning from the top of his thighs to his neck._

_After returning from her shopping trip she modelled a blue one piece for him and he gave it his complete approval. But as it turned out, bathing suits were on sale for half price, so El had been able to buy two with the money he had provided._

_She never showed him the red bikini._

_~_

Steve and Jonathon commandeered a couple of picnic tables and moved them together as the supplies were unloaded. They had beat the crowd and picked an ideal spot on the edge of the small sandy beach with some shade. Then almost everyone went to change into their bathing suits, with the guys emerging first. Mike and Will started blowing up the various floaties they had brought while Dustin scrounged for a snack and Lucas laid his towel on the sand.

Nancy was covertly watching Steve and Robin from behind her sunglasses, wondering what was up with those two. She thought they made a good couple, but most of the time they acted more like siblings or best friends. She’d have to ask Steve if she got a chance. Then she turned her head and saw El and Max exit the change room and her first thought was “ _if Hopper was here he would kill me_ ”. She knew El had tried on a few bikinis at the store for fun, but she had no idea she had actually bought one. That little sneak.

Mike’s mouth dropped when he spotted El. He had never seen so _much_ of her before. All the air escaped back out of the tube he’d been blowing up.

“What the hell?” Will asked, watching his friend. Then he followed Mike’s gaze to see El approaching in a red bikini. “Oh.”

Max was clearly amused at Mike’s reaction and totally missed that she was getting the same response from Lucas, despite wearing a yellow one piece that was nowhere near as skimpy at El’s bikini.

El felt a little self-conscious, but before she could pull a t-shirt over her suit Steve approached. “Ready for your first swimming lesson?” he asked. Frankly, he was nervous knowing that she couldn’t swim. It was a life skill she needed to know but had simply never had the opportunity to learn. He had loved swimming since he was a toddler, and had promised Hopper that he would teach her, so he couldn’t go back on his word. El nodded enthusiastically and he led her to the water’s edge. Fortunately, the water was very warm so they waded right in and got to work. Robin was a strong swimmer too, so came in to help.

“You may want to pop those eyes back in your head,” Max teased Mike, who continued staring at El.

****

El was a natural and picked up a couple of the easier strokes right away. Thankfully, she could float on her back, which was always a good skill to have if you got into trouble. By the time her lesson was done almost everyone else had run into the lake too, swimming towards the diving dock floating about fifty feet from shore. A diving contest was followed by a cannonball contest and then a few floatie races. For the most part El watched from the diving dock or sat on a floatie that Mike pushed around. When she ventured in she was watched like a hawk until Steve was convinced she was going to be ok. Still, when he and Robin headed for shore he made sure the rest of the kids were taking turns keeping an eye on her.

Nancy and Jonathon had treaded water away from the boisterous shenanigans for a little while before sitting on a blanket near their picnic tables.

Jonathon shook his head, watching El jump into the water. “I can’t believe Hopper let her buy that bathing suit.” Nancy was wearing a bikini too, but she was much older and her dad didn’t pay any attention to what she wore. Or what she did. Or anything.

“I’m sure he didn’t know about it,” Nancy informed him. “I took her shopping and I didn’t even know she bought it. She must have sneaked it in with the other one when I wasn’t paying attention.”

“That makes sense, cause if Hopper saw her in that she’d never leave the house again,” Steve said as he and Robin approached and sat down at the picnic table nearby. Steve grabbed a towel and started drying his hair.

Jonathon was El’s big brother now and he felt protective of her. Not as protective as Hopper, obviously, because that was impossible. He wasn’t sure if he should say anything to her and didn’t really feel comfortable broaching the subject. Fortunately when the kids emerged from the water El quickly pulled a large t-shirt on over her suit so he could relax.

Everyone was hungry so lunch was unpacked. There were lots of different sandwiches, fried chicken, devilled eggs, watermelon, vegetables with dip, cookies, cupcakes… the food supply seemed almost endless. Everyone’s parents had been very generous in supplying ample options. After stuffing themselves and repacking the perishables in the cooler the energy level died down considerably. Several people stretched out on their towels to sunbathe or nap. Others played a game of cards or had a quiet conversation.

Mike and El wandered off for a walk in order to spend some time alone together.

****

Joyce had the day off and no kids around to distract her, so decided to start cleaning out her closet for the move. She had been bringing empty boxes home from the store every day, so grabbed a couple off the pile in the corner of the living room before heading down the hall.

She opened the closet door and sighed deeply. It was even messier than usual because she had haphazardly stuffed in more clothes in order to empty a couple of drawers for El. She couldn’t remember the last time she had sorted through her wardrobe and was sure there were some things from high school that she hadn’t worn in decades. She would rather be doing almost anything right now but promised herself a glass of wine when the job was done.

An hour later, with almost every item out of the closet and lying in piles on the bed and floor, there were only a few items left at the back. She retrieved a pair of three inch high heels that she swore were from high school graduation and tossed them into the donate pile, wondering how she ever managed to walk in them. A pair of old runners with the soles almost separated were added to the garbage pile.

Then she noticed something in the back corner. What the hell was that? She tugged on what looked to be a black sweatshirt, but it was heavy so was obviously concealing something. She pulled it towards her and unfolded it, revealing a small metal box. What on earth? She had no idea or recollection of what this could possibly be. The box wasn’t locked so she undid the clasp and opened the lid, extremely surprised to find a handgun and a pile of cash.

_Jesus Christ._

Upon closer examination she discovered El and Hopper’s passports, ammunition, and a map from the cabin to her house.

_It was definitely time for a glass of wine. Now._

****

Mike and El found a quiet trail and walked away from the beach, which had become very busy since the early afternoon. The sun was beating down and it was well over eighty degrees, so the shaded path was a nice change. They held hands as they walked quietly.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Mike asked. He had explained this saying to her several weeks ago, during her quiet phase right after losing Hopper.

“I hope Joyce’s college letters come soon, so we can decide where we’re going,” El answered. Now that the house was sold this was the main piece left to complete the moving plan puzzle.

Seeing a “Sold” placard added on top of the ‘For Sale’ sign yesterday had been one more gruesome reminder that things were quickly moving forward and El was indeed going to be separated from Mike again. All the kids had been discussing the available options, pouring over the atlas at the cabin and doing research on the possible destinations. Mike was by far hoping for Evansville. Not only was it the closest, but it had also more of a small town atmosphere that he hoped would be less overwhelming for El. But he kept these thoughts to himself.

“I’m sure they’ll come soon,” he said. “But wherever you go you know I’ll be coming to visit a lot, right? And we can talk on the phone every day. And write letters. And you can come back to Hawkins as much as you want, too.” These thoughts were the only things keeping him from drowning in despair some days.

El smiled and squeezed his hand. She really believed they could make this long distance relationship work. “Yes, of course,” she told him. They shared a sweet kiss that was turning into something more intense when a family with three little kids turned a corner, forcing them to break apart.

By the time they returned to the lake everyone was ready for another swim. At this point they had to share the diving dock with many other park visitors, so decided to play an adapted game of water polo where it was less crowded. By mid-afternoon the food was pulled out again and pretty much reduced to crumbs over the next half hour.

Jonathon had been snapping pictures all day, but saved half a roll of film for some large group pictures. He got everyone organized and planned to place the camera on the picnic table with the timer set to give him time to join. He was looking through the lens, asking the group to squeeze closer together when Robin approached.

“I can take the picture if you like,” she offered.

Jonathon stopped focusing the camera and looked at her. “Then you wouldn’t be in it.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t have to be. I mean, I’m the newest one here,” she replied.

Steve had explained, over the course of many conversations spread out over several days, everything that had happened to this group of kids over the past three years. It would be unbelievable to anyone who hadn’t gotten involved in the last, most extraordinary chapter. You definitely had to see it to believe it. The background had helped her fully understand exactly what that mind flayer creature was and why it wanted to hurt El. It had taken her a long time to fully realize she had indeed played a part in saving the world as they knew it. It was surreal. And on top of all that she was slowly becoming very attached to these people. She loved hanging out with Steve, and her adventure with Dustin and Erica had helped her appreciate why Steve was so close to these kids. While she had found his relationship with much younger kids weird at first, she totally got it now. Traumatic experiences had a way of bonding you to people, and now she felt bonded to them too. She just wasn’t sure they felt the same way, even though they had been nothing but welcoming and friendly.

Jonathon finished focusing the camera and put it down. “Robin, like or not, you are part of this crazy family now,” he told her, smiling. He set the timer. “Come on, we only have a few seconds.” 

They raced towards the rest of the group, laughing, and took their places.

****

Joyce was sipping on a second glass of wine, sitting on the couch now that she had finished dealing with her closet. Three boxes of donations and one large garbage bag were piled by the door. Earlier, she had spent another ten minutes staring at the contents of the metal box, slowly coming to the realization that this was a safety net for Hopper and El. Her initial anger at El hiding it in her closet – _with_ _a gun, for Christ sake_ \- quickly dissipated into tears when she realized that, even at the beginning, Hopper wanted her to take care of El if he couldn’t. Of course he would have a backup plan, she thought, looking at the crudely drawn but accurate map to her house. Then she stared down at Hopper’s passport picture, despondent that he would never be able to use it. She missed him so much. Missing Hopper was so different than missing Bob - much deeper and more painful. So much more regret for a lost opportunity.

In the end she had simply repacked the box, wrapped it up in the sweatshirt and placed it back in its original hiding spot. If it made El feel safer to have it, then so be it. She took another sip of her wine and pretended Hopper was sitting beside her on the couch.

_So I was always your backup plan, eh?_

_Yup. Sorry I couldn’t tell you._

_That’s ok. But really Hopper, a gun?_

_Better safe than sorry._

_How far would you have run with her?_

_As far as I had to._

_Would you have let me know where you were?_

_I would have wanted to – but I really don’t know. Not if it wasn’t safe for El._

_Yeah, that’s what I thought._

_You mad?_

_No, not really. I’m thinking I should get myself and the boys some passports and add them to that box. And maybe add some more money. You never know._

_That’s my girl._

_I miss you Hop._

_Miss you too._

****

As the day wound down to a close the exuberant atmosphere abruptly faded. It was obvious to everyone that this may very well be the last day they all spent together for a long time. School was starting next week, the older kids all had jobs (Nancy and Jonathon had been asked to stay on at the paper part time when school started), and the Byers’ would be leaving town in a little over a month. All ten of them lingered by the cars after the coolers and bags had long been packed away.

“It’s getting late, so we should probably get going,” Steve said reluctantly, pulling the car keys out of his shorts pocket.

“Yeah, we should,” Jonathon agreed.

But still, no one moved, clearly not wanting the day to be over.

“Maybe we can all get together at the cabin the day before the move?” Nancy suggested. “One last fling?”

“That sounds great!” Lucas agreed.

“Perfect,” Dustin said.

“It’s a Saturday, so even if we have to work the store will be closed by 9,” Robin added.

The rest chimed in with their wholehearted agreement and with something to look forward they felt better about leaving for the day. Eventually all the goodbyes were done and they climbed into their respective cars to head home.

“Thank you for taking us, Jonathon,” El said from the back seat, leaning forward to pat his shoulder.

“You’re welcome El.”

“It was a great day, wasn’t it?” Nancy asked no one in particular.

“The best,” El answered, knowing she would treasure these memories for a very long time.

**Day 56**

Joyce, Will, Jonathon and El were anxiously staring at the last two application response letters sitting unopened on the kitchen table. Joyce had been turned down by Indianapolis, which was fine because none of them really wanted to live in such a big city. Houses would cost more and that program was very competitive, so the rejection had not been a total surprise. She had already been accepted to Gary, which was three hours away and another large city, and Louisville, Kentucky, which would be okay but moving to another state seemed a little daunting. She had only applied there as a last resort. The unopened letters were from Evansville and Fort Wayne.

“Mom?” Will prompted.

Joyce looked up from the letters and took a deep breath. “Okay.” She picked up the letter from Fort Wayne, sliced it open and pulled out the letter. She smiled. “Accepted.”

“Congratulations,” El said. But she knew this place was just as far as Gary, so she was holding out hope for Evansville.

“Last one,” Jonathon said, picking up the letter from Evansville and holding it out to her.

Joyce accepted the letter and opened it quickly. She smiled, bringing a sigh of relief to everyone else around the table. “Accepted.”

“That’s great mom,” Will congratulated her. He didn’t care where they went, he only wanted her to have some decent choices.

“So, what do you guys think?” Joyce asked. She had saved Evansville for last as it was her first choice. It was close, affordable, had a good program and was a nice sized city. She hoped the kids agreed but she had promised she’d listen to their opinions. This was hard enough for them, so she felt that giving them some say in their final destination was the least she could do.

“Maybe we should all write down our top choice and see what we get?” Will suggested.

El and Jonathon nodded their approval. “Good idea, honey,” Joyce agreed.

Five minutes later their slips of paper were folded into a bowl into the middle of the table. They had agreed to keep the choices anonymous so Joyce kept the fact they she could recognize everyone’s handwriting to herself. She pulled the first piece of paper out of the bowl and unfolded it.

“Evansville,” she said, recognizing El’s writing immediately. “Your turn Will.”

Will mimicked what his mother done. “Evansville,” he said with a smile. He had picked his own paper. He pushed the bowl towards El.

“Evansville,” she said, grinning. That vote clinched it. 

Jonathon snapped up the last piece of paper and read it. “Well it’s unanimous,” he announced. “Looks like it’s Evansville.”

“I’m so glad we all wanted the same place,” Joyce said, starting to cry. She was sure the kids would never really understand how hard it had been for her to uproot the family. She felt guilty about it all the time. This at least helped ease her burden a little bit. For the first time since announcing the house was going up for sale the kids seemed at least a little excited about it.

Joyce wiped away her tears, happy that the decision had been made. “Why don’t we go get some burgers for dinner to celebrate?”

****

El was still awake when Joyce came to bed, so decided now was as good a time as any. “Joyce?”

“Yeah?”

El rolled over to face her, not sure how she was going to take the news.

“What is it honey? Are you feeling alright?” Joyce instinctively felt El’s forehead.

“I’m fine. I just – I – I’ve decided I don’t want to start school until we move.”

Joyce pulled her into a hug. “Oh honey, that’s fine. I thought you might feel that way.”

“You did?”

“Of course. It’s a big step for you. Having to do it twice would make it even harder.”

El was relieved that not only was Joyce not mad, she seemed to understand perfectly how she felt. Joyce’s capacity for empathy never ceased to amaze her. Hopper had been really good at that too.

“Why don’t we have the kids come over after school for the next month and catch you up on all your subjects so you don’t fall behind? It would be like starting your tutoring again,” Joyce suggested. “How does that sound?”

El hugged Joyce. She was so lucky to have her. If she couldn’t have Hopper then Joyce was the next best thing. “That sounds perfect.”

**Day 73**

The kids had been back to school for a couple of weeks and so far the tutoring was going well. It was like having a private homework club, with all six kids gathered around the Byers’ kitchen table after school most days for a couple of hours. As it turned out it was helpful for everyone, not just El. If anyone was struggling or had a question about any subject there was always at least one person who could help.

Mike stayed for dinner a lot, or El went to his house. Sometimes everyone stayed, which was the plan tonight as it was Friday. Nancy and Jonathon were going to pick up some movies and pizza on their way back from work.

On the weekends the gang still hung out at the cabin. El had finally showed them the crawlspace but they left Hopper’s boxes untouched. His presence could still be felt everywhere and one afternoon they all told stories about the first time they met him. Dustin and Lucas had been terrified when he came to the school asking questions about Will. Mike had thought him to be very severe and intimidating, but he had appreciated him taking Will’s disappearance seriously. Will remembered an awkward encounter when he and his mom had run into him in the street shortly after he had returned to town. Even then he knew there was something going on between them.

They asked El what the first year living alone out here with him had been like, as she rarely talked about it. It had been so many things it was hard to explain, but she tried her best, explaining that she felt safe, protected, bored, overwhelmed, relieved, scared, thankful, angry, happy and so much more. Sometimes a lot of those things at the same time.

She tried to sum it up in few words. “He read me stories at night, made me learn at least one new word a day, taught me things, made sure I ate my vegetables, sat up with me if I had a nightmare...” She suddenly stopped, a tear rolling down her cheek. Knowing she would never see him again was still overwhelming sometimes.

“He was a good dad,” Mike told her, rubbing her back. “A little overprotective maybe, but a good dad.”

“A _little_ overprotective?” Dustin teased, gesturing around the secluded cabin in the middle of nowhere, easing the tension and making everyone laugh.

****

Nancy and Jonathon were running late so decided to divide and conquer. He was going to pick up the pizzas while she ran into the video store. She had been given a list of movies from Mike and started scrounging the alphabetical aisles in the comedy section after saying a quick hi to Robin, who was working the counter.

She was perusing the T section in the Horror aisle when she heard, “Can I help you ma’am?”

She turned to smile at Steve. “No that’s fine. I’ve already got two movies so I’m good. Just checking for one last thing and it isn’t here. How have you been?” She hadn’t seen him since the trip to the park.

“Good, you know staying out of trouble. Well, as much as that’s possible with Robin around,” he joked. “She’s a bad influence.”

“I find that hard to believe,” she responded. Nancy hadn’t had a chance to ask at the park, so took advantage of her golden opportunity now. “Speaking of Robin, what’s the deal with you two?”

Steve shrugged his shoulders and glanced over at the counter. “No deal, really. Just friends.” 

For some reason he seemed uncomfortable, but Nancy couldn’t put her finger on why. “Any chance it could be more? You guys make a nice couple,” she prodded.

Steve didn’t feel it was his place to say anything about Robin’s secret. While he was fine with it, and he was sure Nancy would be too, it wouldn’t be right to broadcast something so personal. Instead, he wiggled his eyebrows at Nancy. “Well you never know,” he said, deliberately misleading her.

Nancy wasn’t one hundred percent convinced, but played along. She had heard some rumors at school and while she tried not to believe gossip, she was pretty sure the rumor was true. Which was perfectly fine with her. Robin could tell her whenever she felt comfortable enough. In the meantime, she was glad to have another female friend. While she adored El and Max, it was nice having another girl her own age as part of the group. She was going to need as many empathetic shoulders to cry on as possible once Jonathon left town. Robin was funny and easy to talk to and had quickly become a part of their extended family.

“So I hear the Byers’ found a new house in Evansville?” Steve asked, changing the subject.

“Yeah, yeah. Jonathon went with Joyce to look at a bunch of houses and they really liked the one they picked. Speaking of Jonathon, he’ll be back any minute so I better get going,” Nancy said. “See you around, okay? See you on the 5th for sure at the cabin, right?”

“For sure,” Steve said, feeling like he dodged a bullet. He watched Nancy talking animatedly with Robin as she checked out and at one point Robin motioned to her hair and both girls looked over at him and laughed. He didn’t mind being the butt of a joke if it meant two of his best friends could also be friends. He knew Nancy was going to need both of them after Jonathon was gone.

“Night Steve,” Nancy called on her way out the door.

**Day 88**

The days were flying by and they had less than a week before the move. Everyone was a little more on edge and quiet, knowing what was coming. Most of the house had already been packed up and the labelled boxes were piled in every corner of every room.

All the other kids had gone home for dinner and El and the rest of the Byers’ family had a quiet night at home, so Joyce took advantage of the opportunity and finally told them about Hopper’s estate.

“Wow that was very generous of him,” Jonathon commented. “That’s why you can afford to go to school, isn’t it?” He had been wondering how she was going to manage it, but didn’t want to ask.

“Yeah, pretty much. For which I am very grateful.”

“So the cabin is mine?” El asked, slightly confused.

Joyce leaned over and took her hands. “Right now it’s legally in my name because you are too young to own property, but as soon as you are old enough it will be,” Joyce explained. “And you can do whatever you want with it when you feel ready.”

An hour later El was still processing this information as she prepared a bubble bath. Once the water was ready she lit a couple of candles and turned off the lights. Joyce had showed her how to do this as a relaxation technique when she first moved in. At least once a week she would have a dark, quiet bath to help her relax before bed. It was hard to believe she used to be afraid of a bath because now she completely enjoyed it. She slipped into the water and let her head fall back onto the blow up pillow, closing her eyes. The soapy, hot water enveloped her felt like a soothing balm.

_I hope you’re okay El._

She opened her eyes, startled at the words she was sure she had heard. It was Hopper’s voice. She took a few deep breaths, forced herself to relax and closed her eyes, hoping to hear him again. It was silent for a few moments, and then…

_I miss you, kiddo. I hope you and Joyce are together. Taking care of one another._

This time she forced herself to keep her eyes closed, and abruptly she found herself back in the cell where she had seen him before. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring off into space as if deep in thought. He was still much thinner than she had ever seen him. But it was him.

_I know you’re gonna be fine, kid. I wish I could be there to finish watching you grow up. You were the best thing that ever happened to me._

“Dad,” she whispered tentatively, walking closer. He turned, startled, and looked in her direction, but it was obvious he couldn’t see her. His hair had grown out a little bit since her last dream, and there was short stubble where his beard used to be. His eyes were the same clear blue. He continued to stare right through her.

“Dad, I miss you every single day,” she told him, hoping desperately that he could at least hear her. “I love you. I love you so much.” 

He smiled, as if he heard her. But that was impossible. This was another dream. He was dead. Gone.

_I love you too, kid._

El bolted up in the tub, breathing heavily. She didn’t know if what she had seen was just a dream, or in her imagination, or something else entirely. The darkness and the late hour must have been playing tricks on her. She desperately wanted to go into the void to look for him. But she couldn’t. Her powers still hadn’t returned and she was beginning to think they never would. She knew no one would believe her if she said she had seen Hopper. How could she see him when he was gone? There was no way any of it was real.

_But it felt real._

**Day 92**

It was finally the night before the move and most of the gang had spent the better part of the day at the cabin. They had played games, gone for walks, reminisced, and generally tried to soak up every minute of their last full day together. At times different people would get emotional and there was always someone with a hug to help them get through it. Nancy and Jonathon had spent most of the day off alone together and planned to spend this last night at the cabin by themselves. Mike had wanted to stay with El, but both Joyce and Karen had gently but firmly refused, saying they were much too young. Karen actually thought Nancy was sleeping on the couch at the Byers and still had no idea the cabin existed.

Steve had been able to get off work at six and treated everyone to buckets of chicken, fries and side salads for dinner. Robin had to work till nine but had just pulled in and approached the group circled around a crackling fire. They had been blessed with a lovely day, but it was early October and the evenings were getting quite chilly, so everyone had donned heavier jackets.

“Saved you a seat,” Steve said, motioning to a lawn chair beside him.

Robin held up a bag. “I brought the stuff to make s’mores.”

“Oh yes! You are the best Robin!” Dustin exclaimed. They spent the next half hour stuffing themselves with the gooey treats. 

“I need everyone who’s staying in Hawkins to do me a favor,” El said to the group.

“Sure, of course,” Mike answered. “Anything.”

“Can you come check on the cabin once in a while and make sure its ok?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure,” Lucas replied.

“We’d be happy to,” Max agreed.

“No problem, squirt,” Steve echoed. “I think I speak for everyone when I say we all love it out here and want to make sure it’s always ready for you when you need it.”

They had all been told about Hopper’s will, and that El would someday officially own the cabin. 

“Thanks,” El said, relieved.

****

Earlier that afternoon Joyce had made a last trip to the graveyard. She came about once a week, finding comfort in it even though she knew he wasn’t actually buried here. But today, as she stood there staring at “James Hopper” carved into the headstone, she struggled once again to fully accept that he was gone. Every time she thought she had finally come to terms with it she seemed to take another step backwards. Maybe that would change with new surroundings where she wasn’t reminded of him everywhere she went.

Part of her had expected to lose him when he went to Vietnam after she had stupidly agreed to marry Lonnie. Through all the twists and turns of their lives, he was always a part of her and always would be. She kissed her fingertips and transferred the kiss to the headstone as a tear rolled down her cheek.

_Leaving town tomorrow, Hop. So I won’t be here much anymore._

_I know, babe._

_I’m so sorry we never had that date._

_Yeah, me too._

_I’m sorry I stood you up. I didn’t mean to._

_I know. I didn’t need to be such a jerk about it._

_Just for the record, you were a complete jerk._

_Ouch. I deserved that._

_No, you didn’t. I’m sorry._

_No need to be sorry. And I meant what I said before. I think we make a pretty good team._

_I wish you were still here so we could prove it._

_Yeah me too. Listen, you’re gonna be a great nurse, Joyce. Don’t you worry._

_I worry all the time._

_Don’t. You and the kids are gonna be fine._

_Thanks Hop._

_Thanks for taking such good care of my little girl._

_I love you and I miss you every day._

_Right back at you, Joyce._

****

The fire was doused and everyone was inside gathering their things. “Oh I almost forgot,” Jonathon said. “Wait a minute.” He ducked into Hopper’s room and returned a minute later with a pile of envelopes.

“What’s this?” Robin asked as he handed her one.

“Copies of the pictures I took that day at the lake,” Jonathon answered, continuing to hand out the packages.

“So cool, thanks,” Max said, looking at the group picture. Her package also had several pictures of her with Lucas or El. “These are fantastic.”

While Jonathon was handing out the pictures El approached Nancy. “Mike told me that fixing up the cabin was your idea.” She hadn’t know this detail until tonight.

“Yeah, originally I guess it was,” she replied, looking around and remembering what a disaster the place had been when she and Mike had first come back after Hopper died.

El give her a tight hug, which Nancy quickly returned. “Thank you again.”

“You’re welcome. I’m so glad it worked out,” Nancy replied. “I hope you don’t mind Jonathon and I staying here?”

El shook her head. She liked knowing that people would still be using the cabin. “Come as much as you want. I want everyone to come.”

Steve and Robin compared their pictures, smiling and laughing at the memories from that day. “Thanks man, these are perfect,” he told Jonathon. “Listen we won’t see you again before you leave so take it easy and let us know when you’re back in town visiting, okay?” He reached out to shake Jonathon’s hand.

Jonathon pulled him into a hug instead. “I will for sure,” he said. And then he hugged Robin as well.

******

Dustin, Max and Lucas piled into Robin’s car, with Dustin yelling “Shotgun!”

Mike had been the most emotional person all day, struggling to keep himself in check. He gave El a long, deep kiss by the car. He knew he was going to see her tomorrow but this was the last time he would kiss her goodnight and be able to see her the next day. Finally they broke apart.

“See you tomorrow,” El said quietly.

“Yeah, for sure. I’ll be there first thing,” Mike replied, choking up again. “I better not keep Robin waiting.”

El pecked him on the cheek and walked to Steve’s car as he climbed into the back seat next to Max. She and Lucas were worried about Mike and expected him to fall apart tomorrow after El was gone. Robin started the car and they pulled out of the driveway as Jonathon and Nancy stood on the porch and waved a final goodbye to everyone before heading inside.

Mike was losing it again, so turned his head towards the window, trying to hide his tears from Max and Lucas. Then he felt a warm hand take his and give it a squeeze. While Max and Mike had gotten off to a rather rocky start, they had become much closer over the last several months. Even though he was losing El and Will, it was comforting to know he still had such good friends to help him through this.

He squeezed back to let her know he appreciated it.

******

Steve had prearranged with Robin that he would take El and Will home while she took the rest of kids back to town. When he pulled into the Byers driveway he got out with the kids as he wanted to see Joyce once more before she left. Robin had tracked her down yesterday to say goodbye.

“Mom, we’re home,” Will called when they opened the door. El and Steve followed him in.

Joyce ducked out of the kitchen with a smile. “Did you guys have fun?” she asked.

“Yeah, it was nice. Kind of tough, but nice,” he answered.

“Hi Steve, thanks for bringing them home.”

“No worries. I wanted to say goodbye,” Steve replied.

Joyce motioned for him to come give her a hug, which he did. Joyce was like a second mother and now he felt like he was losing both of his surrogate parents. Joyce and Hopper had welcomed him with open arms into this weird extended family of theirs, and he was going to miss it. He loved Joyce.

“You’re gonna do great and be an awesome nurse. I’m going to miss you,” he told her.

“I’ll miss you too, sweetie,” she replied, hugging him even tighter before letting him go. “I’m counting on you to keep an eye on the kids here for me.”

He smiled at her. “That’s the plan.”

**Day 93**

The Byers caravan was twenty miles outside of Hawkins after a long, gut wrenching goodbye. The last half hour before pulling out had been the most heartbreaking thing Joyce had experienced since Hopper died. She glanced in her extended side mirror every few minutes to make sure Jonathon and Will were still close behind. El had been quiet since they started on their journey.

El’s tears had finally dried and she tried to observe as much as possible out the window. She watched as they passed by farms and markets, small towns and open spaces, even a small lake. She thought about Hopper, still missing him terribly. She knew she’d be dead if he hadn’t put out food in the forest for her – if he hadn’t kept looking until she found the courage to expose herself to him. Their relationship had started off so tentatively, but it hadn’t taken very long to figure out he really didn’t want anything from her. He didn’t want to do anything except take care of her. Feed her. Protect her. Teach her. _Love her_.

She couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment that she stopped thinking of him as Hopper and started thinking of him as “dad”. She also didn’t know exactly when she had started to love him. She understood that, despite what the birth certificate said, he was not her biological father. Just like Joyce wasn’t her biological mother. She also knew it took more than biology or a piece of paper for someone to be a good parent. Joyce is a good mom and Hopper had been a good dad. He had been _her_ dad. She knew that she would always love him and miss him. Joyce had taken the last week off work and with the kids in school she and El had spent a lot of time together. Joyce had started telling her stories about Hopper when he was younger. It was heartening knowing that Joyce had a history with her dad that she could share and there were new things she could still learn about him.

She glanced over at Joyce, who was concentrating on steering the unfamiliar U-Haul truck. Now, for all intents and purposes, Joyce was her mom. She hadn’t called her that yet. It didn’t make any sense, but deep down she was afraid it would feel like she was betraying Hopper in some way. Nevertheless, she knew she would someday. She knew that eventually it would feel right. She was so grateful that Joyce had taken her in without a second thought. Just like Hopper had done. How had she been lucky enough to find two people, who didn’t have any obligation to her whatsoever, who wanted to take care of her? 

El reached one hand over and placed it on Joyce’s arm. “Thank you for everything,” she said sincerely. “For taking me in. Taking care of me.”

Joyce removed one hand from the steering wheel and grabbed El’s. “Oh sweetie, I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“We’re going to be okay, aren’t we?” El said hopefully.

Joyce smiled at her. She was ready to start a new chapter and thought El was too. The last three years had been horrendously stressful and the last three months were the most difficult of her life. El had spent so many years unloved, hidden away from the world in that horrible lab. She had been used and abused by so many people and had endured being all alone for almost a month in a wintry forest before Hopper had saved her. Well, before they saved each other.

Joyce and El would always miss Hopper and wish he was here with them, but right now Joyce felt like if they made it this far, then they could get through anything.

“A wise man once told me that it gets a little easier every day,” she said, thinking about Hopper consoling her the night of the snowball dance.

“So don’t you worry, honey. We’re gonna be just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that's it folks. This last chapter was way longer that I expected. I hope that during this crazy year that some of you enjoyed this short little escape to ease your troubles and stress, even just a little bit. If you enjoyed it and haven't left a comment yet please take the time to leave some feedback. We authors live for it! Probably going to take a bit of a break now as I poured a lot of time and effort into this one. Stay safe out there.


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